English THPT Writing _ Gender equality

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Disadvantages of being a working mother


Mothers should not be encouraged to work outside the home for a number of reasons. First of all, women’s traditional roles are housewives and housekeepers, which means that their main responsibilities are nurturing children and handling household chores. In addition, in extended families where more than two generations live under the same roof, women usually act as the main caregivers for elderly people. Secondly, working mothers may not have enough time to take care of themselves. While men work at the office, women work both at the office and at home. Having heavy workloads and a lot of domestic chores to shoulder, women may constantly suffer from stress and exhaustion. Therefore, both their physical and mental health will be adversely affected. Last but not least, working mothers may not be good workers. Unless working mothers can maintain a work-life balance, worries about kids and tiring household chores can easily cause them to be unable to concentrate on their work or achieve the highest levels of productivity. In conclusion, women should not be supported to pursue a career after matrimony.

Advantages of being a working mother

It is evident that being a working mother has a number of benefits. Firstly, working mothers can contribute to household income. Mothers who have a job can not only reduce the financial burden placed on their husbands but also help to satisfy their children’s growing needs. Secondly, working mums can effectively educate their kids. As they enter the workforce, they’ll gain valuable skills and experiences which are of utmost value to pass on to their children. Last but not least, working mothers set good examples for children. When kids see their parents work hard together to support the family, they’ll be likely to take more responsibility for household chores and schoolwork. Also, working mothers also contribute to lessening gender stereotypes, inspiring young girls to pursue their favourite careers. To conclude, mothers should be strongly encouraged from work outside the home.
 
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Disadvantages of being a working mother


Mothers should not be encouraged to work outside the home for a number of reasons. First of all, women’s traditional roles are housewives and housekeepers, which means that their main responsibilities are nurturing children and handling household chores. In addition, in extended families where more than two generations live under the same roof, women usually act as the main caregivers for elderly people. Secondly, working mothers may not have enough time to take care of themselves. While men work at the office, women work both at the office and at home. Having heavy workloads and a lot of domestic chores to shoulder, women may constantly suffer from stress and exhaustion. Therefore, both their physical and mental health will be adversely affected. Last but not least, working mothers may not be good workers. Unless working mothers can maintain a work-life balance, worries about kids and tiring household chores can easily cause them to be unable to concentrate on their work or achieve the highest levels of productivity. In conclusion, women should not be supported to pursue a career after matrimony.

Advantages of being a working mother

It is evident that being a working mother has a number of benefits. Firstly, working mothers can contribute to household income. Mothers who have a job can not only reduce the financial burden placed on their husbands but also help to satisfy their children’s growing needs. Secondly, working mums can effectively educate their kids. As they enter the workforce, they’ll gain valuable skills and experiences which are of utmost value to pass on to their children. Last but not least, working mothers set good examples for children. When kids see their parents work hard together to support the family, they’ll be likely to take more responsibility for household chores and schoolwork. Also, working mothers also contribute to lessening gender stereotypes, inspiring young girls to pursue their favourite careers. To conclude, mothers should be strongly encouraged from work outside the home.
phanthihaianhc2tanlap@gmail.comDisadvantages of being a working mother

Mothers should not be encouraged to work outside the home for a number of reasons. First of all, women’s traditional roles are housewives and housekeepers, which means that their main responsibilities are nurturing children and handling household chores. In addition, in extended families where more than two generations live under the same roof, women usually act as the main caregivers for elderly people. Secondly, working mothers may not have enough time to take care of themselves. While men work at the office, women work both at the office and at home. Having heavy workloads and a lot of domestic chores on their shoulders, women may constantly suffer from stress and exhaustion. Therefore, both their physical and mental health will be adversely affected. Last but not least, working mothers may not be good workers. Unless working mothers can maintain a work-life balance, worries about kids and tiring household chores can easily cause them to be unable to concentrate on their work or achieve the highest levels of productivity. In conclusion, women should not be supported to pursue a career after matrimony.

Advantages of being a working mother
It is evident that being a working mother has a number of benefits. Firstly, working mothers can contribute to household income. Mothers who have a job can not only reduce the financial burden placed on their husbands but also help to satisfy their children’s growing needs. Secondly, working mums (không dùng mum vì không formal) can effectively educate their kids. As they enter the workforce, they’ll gain valuable skills and experiences which are of utmost value to pass on to (sai nghĩa, pass on to nghĩa là truyền bá thông tin, không phù hợp để sử dụng ở đây) their children. Last but not least, working mothers set good examples for children. When kids see their parents work hard together to support the family, they’ll be likely to take more responsibility for household chores and schoolwork. Also (có thể thay bằng besides, in addition, ...), working mothers also lặp từ contribute to (ưu tiên dùng danh từ sau contribute to) lessening gender stereotypes, inspiring young girls to pursue their favourite careers. To conclude, mothers should be strongly encouraged from work outside the home.

Nhận xét:
Các ý của bạn triển khai rất rõ ràng rành mạnh, tuy nhiên hơn ngắn, bạn nên viết hai luận điểm rồi từ hai luận điểm đó mỗi luận điểm viết 3 luận cứ (nếu sợ quá dài) thì sẽ hay hơn.
Bài viết của bạn dùng từ thuộc topic khá ổn, không sai ngữ pháp nhiều
Dù thế bạn cần lưu ý:
- Không sử dụng quá nhiều động từ, hãy dùng danh từ để thay thế
- Hãy viết những câu chủ đề dài hơn vì mình thấy bạn chủ yếu dùng câu đơn cho luận điểm chính

Ngoài ra bạn cũng có thể tham khảo và ủng hộ những topic sau để có sự tiến bộ về nhiều kỹ năng ~
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