* Practicing writing paragraph *

[wolf95]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

Để viết đc hẳn 1 bài " easay" thì trc tiên tại sao chúng ta ko bắt đầu từ "paragraph" nhỉ? Vừa học hỏi nhiều kiến thức lại, hcọ nhiều từ mới và giúp ta làm quen với văn chương bằng ngôn ngữ tiếng anh, mỗi tuần chúng ta sẽ có 1 topic để tất cả chúng ta cúng viết, thảo luận và sửa chữa cho nhau( cũng là để bạn bè hiểu về nhau hơn). Đơn giản chỉ là những chủ đề gần gủi với chúng ta như: trường lớp, gia đinh, bạn bè... Chủ đề vào những tuần mới có thể do mình hoặc các bạn đưa ra.
Mình chưa có đóng góp nhiều cho tiếng anh nhiều lắm dù rất thích môn này, mình mới chỉ hay post bài hỏi mà chưa có ý tưởng gì vào môn mà mình vô cùng yêu nên mình mong ý tg về topic này sẽ ko chỉ giúp mình và các bạn nhiều mà cũng chíng là giúp bản thân mình cải thiện bản thân hơn. Thật lòng vốn tiếng anh mình có so với các bạn còn chưa là gì cả nên: Mong các bạn nhiều tính giúp đỡ:-*!^^
TOPIC IN THIS WEEK: WRITE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY
Sau đây là bài viết của mình, có gfi sửa giúp nhé!
Hi! I'm Yến. My family name is Nguyen. I'm 14 years old. I study in Voi secondary school. I'm in class 8A. There are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my sister and me. I live in Huong Lac Town. My house is very beautiful because it has too many trees in front of. My countryside is Bac Ninh City where is so traditional. My father is soldier. He is a nice father. In my childhood, he was my first teacher. He taught me everything about life sush as: loving everyone, liking subjects, protecting and loving Earth, being friendly to people,... Everything was taught by him is so beautiful. It makes me happy and helps me improve my knowledge. My mother is the best mother in the world. Her knowledge about life is very good and she also often give me many advices when i make mistakes. But her cooking skill isn't better than my father. So my dad often teaches me how to cook meal than more than my mum. In spire of this, I love her so much. Next, my sister is very beautiful in my eyes. She gives me many big dreams. And she taught me to love English and how to learn it. So I love E very much and study it quite well. I love my family very much. My hobbies are: protecting Earth, writing story, reading comics books, newspapers, using computer, learning E and Japanese... My dream is speaking E well to go abroad. I hope I can do it and my dream will become true. Thanks for your reading my paragraph. Good bye!^^

Đó là bài viết của mình mong các bạn cùng viết với mình nhé!^^

 

[mrs_koj_9x]

write about my family

hi.I'm Mai.I live in hung yen with my family.I'm 14 year old.I'm study in class 8b in Doan thi diem school.My family has 6 people: my father and mother , my sister me and brother.Many people my family My father hold a post of buiness.He works hard.Can say, he is a people suceeded in work.Not only that,he thoughtful care all my family members.He is a dad best with me.Every envening, he teaches me study.He teaches me life style fỉiendlly and good heaited,too.He brings joy to us.My mother too.She is a mum erotic and a people housewifely.As well as the dad,she care and makes food good for us.She teaches me cook and helps me full.Her first sister daughter was taken by my husband.She is working in a office.My second sister studys university fogeirn language in Ha Noi.So, when not understand English,I often ask she.And my third sister study colleges in HN ,too.And my yoong brother is 6 year old.This year, he study 1a.This is my family.
Mình học tiếng anh không giỏi lắm, có chỗ nào sai chỉ cho mình nha!!!!

 

[wolf95]

hi.I'm Mai.I live in hung yen with my family.I'm 14 year old.I'm study in class 8b in Doan thi diem school.My family has 6 people: my father and mother , my sister me and brother.Many people my family My father hold a post of buiness.He works hard.Can say, he is a people suceeded in work.Not only that,he thoughtful care all my family members.He is a dad best with me.Every envening, he teaches me study.He teaches me life style fỉiendlly and good heaited,too.He brings joy to us.My mother too.She is a mum erotic and a people housewifely.As well as the dad,she care and makes food good for us.She teaches me cook and helps me full.Her first sister daughter was taken by my husband.She is working in a office.My second sister studys in university fogeirn language in Ha Noi.So, when not understand English,I often ask she.And my third sister study in colleges in HN ,too.And my yoong brother is 6 year old.This year, he study in class 1a.This is my family.
mình học tiếng anh không giỏi lắm có chỗ nào sai chỉ cho mình nha!!!!

chữ xanh là những chỗ sai mấy chỗ này là những chỗ tớ thấy ko ổn, một số chỗ là viết sai, sắp xếp từ sai, chia động từ thiếu,...
còn chữ đỏ là những chỗ tơ sbổ súng nhưng tớ chỉ bổ sung một số thôi trong bài con có nhiều chỗ nên sửa nhưng tứo nghĩ bận nên tự nghĩ và xem lại sẽ tốt hơn vì như thế rèn nhiều hơn. Bạn viết thế là khá lắm đấy cố lên
Có gì sai nữa mong mọi ng cũng xem nhé!

 

[ctsp_a1k40sp]

Để viết đc hẳn 1 bài " easay" thì trc tiên tại sao chúng ta ko bắt đầu từ "paragraph" nhỉ? Vừa học hỏi nhiều kiến thức lại, hcọ nhiều từ mới và giúp ta làm quen với văn chương bằng ngôn ngữ tiếng anh, mỗi tuần chúng ta sẽ có 1 topic để tất cả chúng ta cúng viết, thảo luận và sửa chữa cho nhau( cũng là để bạn bè hiểu về nhau hơn). Đơn giản chỉ là những chủ đề gần gủi với chúng ta như: trường lớp, gia đinh, bạn bè... Chủ đề vào những tuần mới có thể do mình hoặc các bạn đưa ra.

"essay" is correct, not "easay".
I 'm extremely surprised at your writing skills
You are only 14 years old,hiz.
So poor me!

 

[wolf95]

"essay" is correct, not "easay".
I 'm extremely surprised at your writing skills
You are only 14 years old,hiz.
So poor me!

^^ I'm really 14 years old. But I think E for everyone. Althought you are 14 or quite old but if you love and need E for your big dream, you will try your best because of it. I am like this. Thanks for your compliment but there are manybody good at E better than me. Why don't you ẹnoy my topic and write paragraph after you read my message.^^ Gook luck!

 

[0othuytjeno0]

ofen teach him about math, wrting, reading... but he's not good at paying attention. But I still love him very much.
Now, I'll tell about myself. I'm born in 1995, so I'm 14 years old now. My hobbies is reading book, watching tivi and chat with my friend through internet. I like to study English, physic and I hate history, geography. I want to become an astronant when I grow up. Hoping my dream will be come true
This is my family. What about you? Telling me about your family!

 

[tuanh038]

ofen teach him about math, wrting, reading... but he's not good at paying attention. But I still love him very much.
Now, I'll tell about myself. I'm born in 1995, so I'm 14 years old now. My hobbies is reading book, watching tivi and chat with my friend through internet. I like to study English, physic and I hate history, geography. I want to become an astronant when I grow up. Hoping my dream will be come true
This is my family. What about you? Telling me about your family!

bài viết của em có mấy chỗ sai kìa
i'm born=> i was born
is=> are( vì hobbies của em là số nhiều)
like to=> like( thjk cái gì đó)

 

[wolf95]

ofen teach him about math, wrting, reading... but he's not good at paying attention. But I still love him very much.
Now, I'll tell about myself. I'm born in 1995, so I'm 14 years old now. My hobbies is reading book, watching tivi and chat with my friend through internet. I like to study English, physic and I hate history, geography. I want to become an astronant when I grow up. Hoping my dream will be come true
This is my family. What about you? Telling me about your family!

Thanks for your paragraph^^ It is interesting with me!

bài viết của em có mấy chỗ sai kìa
i'm born=> i was born
is=> are( vì hobbies của em là số nhiều)
like to=> like( thjk cái gì đó)

Thanks so much. And Why don't you write a paragraph with us about your family and yourself?

 

[wolf95]

chuẩn bị cho tuần mứoi nhé!^^

Sắp hết 1 tuần rồi đó! mọi ng tiếp tục viết nhé và tớ sẽ thông báo trước chủ đề tuần sau này:
TOPIC IN NEXT WEEK : WRITE ABOUT YOUR MEMORY
mọi ng chuẩn bị viết nhé lần này tớ sẽ ko viết trước mà mọi ng viết trc nhé! chúc may mắn hehe^^

 

[nguyenthibich0702]

Hi, everyone! I'm Bich. I'm 14 years old. I'm in class 8c at Nguyen Van Huyen secondary school.I come from Cat Que. My family has 5people, they are : my parents, my 2 elder brothers and me. My father is 45 years old. He is very kind and good at everything. He usually teaches us how to study E well. My mother is 41 years old. She is a good wife and mother. She cooks well. She always teaches me how to cook, wash the clothes by myself. And my 2 elder are drivers. They always help me with my homework. They are good brothers

 

[nguyenthibich0702]

Mình mới gia nhập vào Hocmai.vn chưa được bao lâu nên mình chưa biết nhiều lắm. Mong các bạn giúp đỡ mình nha!
Thanks trước nha! Mình mới gửi bài vể chủ đề : Writing about your family, mong các bạn sửa giùm mình nha!

 

[wolf95]

Hi, everyone! I'm Bich. I'm 14 years old. I'm in class 8c at Nguyen Van Huyen secondary school.I come from Cat Que. My family has 5people, they are : my parents, two my elder brothers and me. My father is 45 years old. He is very kind and good at everything. He usually teaches us how to study E well. My mother is 41 years old. She is a good wife and mother. She cooks well. She always teaches me how to cook, wash the clothes by herself. And two my elder brothers are drivers. They always help me with my homework. They are good brothers

Bài của bạn ngắn nhưng viết chắc ,chỉ có vài lỗi nhỏ thôi. Tớ sửa rồi ( nhưng cũng chưa chắc. CẬu cố gắng viết dài hưon nhé cố gắng phát huy vốn từ sẵn có và sự sáng tạo trong viết thì sẽ rất nhanh tiến bộ. Cố lên nhé
(À tiện thể chúc các bạn 1 năm học mới vui vẻ! Hcọ tập và thi cử tốt như mình mong muốn! Và năm hcọ mới có nhiều tiến bộ trong học muôn tiêng anh! )

 

[o0honeybaby0o]

@ nguyenthibich0702: Mình nghĩ mình có thể sữa bài bạn làm chi tiết hơn nè ^^
@ wofl95: cậu sửa mà còn sai nè

Hi, everyone! I'm Bich. I'm 14 years old. I'm in class 8c at Nguyen Van Huyen secondary school.I come from Cat Que. My family has 5people, they are : my parents, my 2 elder brothers and me. My father is 45 years old. He is very kind and good at everything. He usually teaches us how to study E well. My mother is 41 years old. She is a good wife and mother. She cooks well. She always teaches me how to cook, wash the clothes by myself. And my 2 elder are drivers. They always help me with my homework. They are good brothers

1/ 3 Câu đầu bạn gom lại cho gọn nhé.

2/ ở đâu thứ tư, bạn nói : "two elder brothers" là đựơc rồi, không cần "my" nữa
.
3/ Bạn có thể tự hào rằng ba bạn "good at everything" nhưng mình nghĩ là dùng "manything" sẽ làm cho ngừơi đọc thấy dễ chịu hơn, chứ dùng "everything" thì hơi....^^

4/ Câu mà bạn nói về mẹ bạn ấy, mình nghĩ bạn nên gom lại như thế này sẽ hay hơn :" my mother is not only a good wife but also a wonderful mother". CÔNG THỨC: S + V + not only + cụm danh từ 1 + but also + cụm danh từ 2 (...không những...mà còn...)

5/ Câu: "She always teaches me how to cook, wash the clothes by myself" giữa từ "cook" và "wash" phải dùng từ "and" nhé, chứ đừng để dấu phẩy như vậy, làm bạn wolf95 hiểu nhầm rùi nè ^^

6/ Câu: "And my 2 elder are drivers" thì bỏ luôn từ "two" dùng "my elder brothers" là đựơc rồi, vì bạn đã giới thiệu bạn có hai ngừơi anh ở trên rồi mà. Àh, "the drivers" nữa nhé.
7/ Còn câu cuối: "They are good brothers" sửa lại vầy cho hay nhé: "They are both good brothers" Vì có hai ngừơi mà, dùng "both" luôn cho tiện

 

[wolf95]

@ nguyenthibich0702: Mình nghĩ mình có thể sữa bài bạn làm chi tiết hơn nè ^^
@ wofl95: cậu sửa mà còn sai nè

1/ 3 Câu đầu bạn gom lại cho gọn nhé.

2/ ở đâu thứ tư, bạn nói : "two elder brothers" là đựơc rồi, không cần "my" nữa
.
3/ Bạn có thể tự hào rằng ba bạn "good at everything" nhưng mình nghĩ là dùng "manything" sẽ làm cho ngừơi đọc thấy dễ chịu hơn, chứ dùng "everything" thì hơi....^^

4/ Câu mà bạn nói về mẹ bạn ấy, mình nghĩ bạn nên gom lại như thế này sẽ hay hơn :" my mother is not only a good wife but also a wonderful mother". CÔNG THỨC: S + V + not only + cụm danh từ 1 + but also + cụm danh từ 2 (...không những...mà còn...)

5/ Câu: "She always teaches me how to cook, wash the clothes by myself" giữa từ "cook" và "wash" phải dùng từ "and" nhé, chứ đừng để dấu phẩy như vậy, làm bạn wolf95 hiểu nhầm rùi nè ^^

6/ Câu: "And my 2 elder are drivers" thì bỏ luôn từ "two" dùng "my elder brothers" là đựơc rồi, vì bạn đã giới thiệu bạn có hai ngừơi anh ở trên rồi mà. Àh, "the drivers" nữa nhé.
7/ Còn câu cuối: "They are good brothers" sửa lại vầy cho hay nhé: "They are both good brothers" Vì có hai ngừơi mà, dùng "both" luôn cho tiện

Chà đúng là honeybaby có khác . Xin lỗi bích nhé tớ sửa sai cho bạn thật là xấu hổ quá! Nhưng honeybaby này chỗ "good at everything tớ nghĩ là đc rồi vì với bn ấy nói tiêng và với tớ nói chung thì bố tuyệt vời nhất quả đất mà! Honeybaby mời cậu viết đoạn văn đi và bích sao cậu ko viết chủ đề tuần này đi nhỉ?

 

[o0honeybaby0o]

Just ok. ^^ But what do you want me to write 'bout? This 2pic or the next one? ;

 

[wolf95]

Write about your memory!( topic this week)

Let me go first!^^ And don't forget topic this week is " WRITE ABOUT YOUR MEMORY".
When i was class 4A, I studied very lazy and i hated science subjects very much because it was very bored and difficult for me. >< So i never leant or did my this subjects's homework because i thought my science teacher - Mirs. Nguyet- would not check in my homework. To one day, I still didn't learn and do my homework. But in this day, my teacher called my name and check in my knowledge. Oh! I surpised and socked very much. But i tried to go abroad althought i was very scared and felf bad. My teacher found some questions to ask me while i still couldn't remember the name of last lesson we have learnt. She asked:
- What is the blood? And What is the blood made from?
I didn't answer these questions because i have forgot all my last lesson's knowledge. My teacher was very angry and then i received a mark zero. All this day, i was very sad and i thought that my daddy would be angry at me and shouted at me. And it was important that i made him sad because my studying. When my daddy picked me up to home, he saw my sad face and at one knew what something was wrong with me in school. He tried to asked me what had happened but i still didn't talk anything. But when we went to back home, i was so sad that i couldn't force myself anymore. i started cried aloud and cried so much. My daddy didn't know what happened but he still patted my head and tried to comfort me. When i stopped crying, i worried to talk him about my mark zero. But no like my thought, my daddy wasn't angry at. In spire of this, i knew my daddy was very sad about me. He told me that learning was very important and explained how it was important with me like this. He tried to encouraged me and made me to understand everything wasn't too late for me to try. Now, this memory is the best one i have ever had and remember forever. It is my important lesson for me and help me to surcess. And from it, i get to love my daddy more and i really thank him and proud of him so much who is my first teacher or my best father and give me many lesson to improve myself and surcess in life and job.
( i promise that this memory is real and i write it by all my heart )

 

[nguyenthibich0702]

Your memories have many happiness and sadness. So my memory, so let's share with each other. The following is my memory:
When I was a child, I and my sisters used to play with dolls, play cat-and-mouse game. Sometimes we practised to be doctors. All the day we played with each other and went to our friends's houses. Whenever tet came, I was taken to supermarket to buy new clothes. On the first day of Tet, I came to my grandparents to wish them a New Year Happy, then I was made a New Year's present. Next, I and my parents went out. And when I was at the primary school, my parents were very happy and proud of me. They took me to the zoo and anywhere I wanted. But I also had some sadness. Once, while I was playing with my sisters, my father said to us that our grandfather was ill. 10 days later, he was death. I felt very sad and alonely, and I cried because he was alike my best friend and he used to defend me when I made a mistake.
That was my memory. What about your memory? Share with me,please!

 

[wolf95]

Just ok. ^^ But what do you want me to write 'bout? This 2pic or the next one? ;

i want you write both topics . hehe i talk joke! you can write what topic you want.^^

 

[o0honeybaby0o]

Ok... I will write both of them...But...tomorrow 'coz now, I must do my homework .Recently, I have gone to bed very lateeveryday (at 11 or 12 o'clock ! Hiz) because of too much homework (.... But, no problems, I will finish two 2pics tomorrow and post them soon, ok?

 

[wolf95]

Ok... I will write both of them...But...tomorrow 'coz now, I must do my homework .Recently, I have gone to bed very lateeveryday (at 11 or 12 o'clock ! Hiz) because of too much homework (.... But, no problems, I will finish two 2pics tomorrow and post them soon, ok?

Sorry! As my sentence: you can write what topic you want. It means one of them or no topic. ^^ Thanks so much your last message. it help me to improve so much.