English THPT Check the letter

[hientas]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

Các bạn kiểm tra giúp mình bài viết nhé ‍ Mình cảm ơn các bạn nhìuu

Mình có check trên app Hemingway thì app chấm cho mình grade 3 à. Mình mong muốn bài này của mình lên tầm grade 6-7 thì cần phải sửa bằng cách nào ạ? Mình cảm ơn




Hello Chris,

How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last letter. I am excited to come and stay with you for the weekend. It's gonna so much fun to go to a Science festival. We can improve our knowledge about Science and explore more about the world.

In answer to your first question, 'Can animals speak?' is a good idea because I love animals and I want to discover about the animal world. More than that, the communication of animals is so attractive attention to me.

Keeping up with your next question, I want to ask you that do we need to buy tickets before going to the festival? Is the festival sell your hometown specialties? Because I want to taste and enjoy food in your hometown

Finally, I cannot stay longer with you because I have a final exam in school. I am so much sorry about that.
To sum up I look forward to seeing you this weekend.

Best regards,
Chloe.

 

[Diệp Hạ Bạch]

Hello Chris,

How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last letter. I am excited to come and stay with you for the weekend. It's gonna so much fun to go to a Science festival. We can improve our knowledge about Science and explore more about the world.

In answer to your first question, 'Can animals speak?' is a good idea => for me, I prefer "Can animals talk?" to "The power of the sun" because I love animals and I want to discover about the animal world. More than that, the communication of animals is so attractive attention to me.Are you curious about that?

Keeping up with your next question, I want to ask you that do we need to buy tickets before going to the festival? Is the festival sell your hometown specialties ? Because I want to taste and enjoy food in your hometown.And does the festival have a book about the festival information and science content it introduces? Because I want to understand some scientific knowledge.

Finally I really want to see all the things you want to show me but I cannot stay longer with you because I have a final exam in school.As you know, the final exam is very important. I am so much sorry about that.
To sum up I look forward to seeing you this weekend.

Best regards,
Chloe.
Một số ý kiến của em ,chị tham khảo ạ !
Có sai sót mong giúp đỡ ạ !