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Hoang Anh Tus

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Talk about some traditional games that children in the past often played .Would you like to preserve them, ?why
bài đầu tiên :Studying and working occupy almost time in my life. Sometimes, I spend my spared time going out with my friend or watching TV. Not like many people, I don't like playing games because I think it is just a waste of time. I couldn't learn any thing from games except Sudoku. Many people think it is boring but I don't think so. This game is an intellectual game. In this game, there are eighty squares put together to form a big square. Each square has a figure from 0 to 9. But only some figures are shown and your duty is find others. The less figures you are suggested, the higher level you have. The attraction as well as the difficulty of this game is that the figures you find must be different in a range, in a column and in a group equivalent nine squares. This game is not really easy but if you can solve it, you will be very happy. Thanks to this game, you not only relax but practice skill of calculation and skill of logical thought. Do you think it is useful? Why don't you try to play it? I hope you enjoy yourself playing this game
bài thứ 2 :
Althought I am not a pupil or a student , I always play some games with my little sister in my free time.I can call the names of some games such as jump rope , hide and seek,blindman'bluff,marbles,etc. But I like jump rope most. Do you like this game? or do you know how to play it? I am going to describe it and give you some rules of it. In order to play this game,IT needs at least three people. Two of them must take two tips of the rope and make it go around.The last one has to jump to avoid standing on the rope.The more people take part in, the game is. I think that this game will very simple if you are careful and skillful.It makes you not only happy but also healthy .I play it daily so I have a good health and beautiful appearance. You will be the same to me If you love the game and play it
regularly at least 3 times a week in the morning even in the evening.
dạ mọi người cho em ý kiến và xem bài nào là đứng đề bài
 
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Bella Dodo

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Xin chào, bạn tham khảo nhé ^^

Talk about some traditional games that children in the past often played .Would you like to preserve them, ?why
Bạn ơi, mình thấy bạn nên trau dồi cách giàn bài trước và hiểu đề bài kỹ càng, giúp chúng ta phòng tránh việc hiểu sai đề.
Traditional game là gì, thời nào bạn muốn nhắm tới và trong thời đó, trẻ con chơi gì. Từ đó bạn phân tích cũng như kết luận suy nghĩ của mình.

Studying and working occupy almost time in my life. Sometimes, I spend my spared spare time going out with my friends or watching TV. Not like many other people, I don't like playing games (thể loại game nào vậy bạn, video games...) because I think it is just a waste of time. I couldn't learn any thing from games except Sudoku. Many people think it is boring but I don't think so. This game is an intellectual game. In this game, there are eighty squares put together to form a big squared puzzle. Each square has a figure from 0 to 9. But only some figures are shown and your duty is find others. The less figures you are suggested, the higher level you have. The attraction as well as the difficulty of this game is that the figures you find must be different in a range, in a column and in a group equivalent nine squares. This game is not really easy but if you can solve it, you will be very happy. Thanks to this game, you not only relax but practice skill of calculation and skill of logical thought. Do you think it is useful? Why don't you try to play it? I hope you enjoy yourself playing this game

Trong bài này, bạn tả hơi nhiều về trò chơi và hầu như không giải thích câu hỏi chính của topic, chúng ta có nên preserve trò chơi không, nếu bạn chọn Sodoku, bạn phải giải thích và expand. Trong bài này, aim của bạn là giúp người đọc của bạn hiểu cũng như đồng tình với bạn rằng chúng ta should preserve this game

bài thứ 2 :
Althought I am not a pupil or a student , I always play some games with my little sister in my free time.I can call the names of some games such as jump rope , hide and seek,blindman'bluff,marbles,etc. But I like jump rope most. Do you like this game? or do you know how to play it? I am going to describe it and give you some rules of it. In order to play this game,IT needs at least three people. Two of them must take two tips of the rope and make it go around.The last one has to jump to avoid standing on the rope.The more people take part in, the game is. I think that this game will very simple if you are careful and skillful.It makes you not only happy but also healthy .I play it daily so I have a good health and beautiful appearance. You will be the same to me If you love the game and play it
regularly at least 3 times a week in the morning even in the evening.

Bài thứ 2 có nghiêng hơn về đề bài và nhỉnh hơn bài trước về context, nhưng bạn nên phân tích ra thêm chút nữa, bài của bạn hiện tại khá chung chung và vẫn chưa có điểm chốt. Bạn chưa fully trả lời câu hỏi chúng ta . Should preserve....

Bella
 

Phạm Dương

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Studying and working occupy almost time in my life. Sometimes, I spend my spared time going out with my friend or watching TV. Not like many people, I don't like playing games because I think it is just a waste of time (Intro quá dài dòng, vì em đang viết đoạn văn nên phần intro chỉ nên dài 1-2 câu - 2 câu đối với đoạn văn dài và dẫn dắt ý tốt). I couldn't learn anything from games except Sudoku. Many people think it is boring but I don't think so. This game is an intellectual game. In this game, there are eighty squares put together to form a big square (lạc đề). Each square has a figure from 0 to 9. But only some figures are shown and your duty is finding others. The fewer figures you are suggested, the higher level you have. The attraction, as well as the difficulty of this game, is that the figures you find must be different in a range, in a column and in a group equivalent nine squares. This game is not really easy but if you can solve it, you will be very happy. Thanks to this game, you not only relax but practice the skill of calculation and skill of logical thought (good - đoạn này có thể đưa vào lí do). Do you think it is useful? Why don't you try to play it? I hope you enjoy yourself playing this game (lạc đề - đây là giọng văn thuyết trình, còn đối với 1 bài speaking kiểm tra thì đừng nên đưa những câu thế này vào)
bài thứ 2 :
Although I am not a pupil or a student (??? ủa thế em lớp mấy? không gọi là student thì gọi là gì?), I always play some games with my little sister in my free time. I can call the names of some games such as jump rope, hide and seek, blindman'bluff (???), marbles, etc. But I like jump rope most. Do you like this game? or do you know how to play it? I am going to describe it and give you some rules on it (lạc đề). In order to play this game, IT needs at least three people. Two of them must take two tips of the rope and make it go around. The last one has to jump to avoid standing on the rope. The more people take part in, the game is. I think that this game will very simple if you are careful and skilful. It makes you not only happy but also healthy. I play it daily so I have good health and a beautiful appearance. You will be the same to me If you love the game and play it
regularly at least 3 times a week in the morning even in the evening (đây là trò gì vậy? nhảy dây hay vượt xà?).

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Thay vì viết nhiều bài thì em nên tập trung viết 1 bài cho đúng chủ đề và chắc chắn, xác định rõ đề bài đang hướng đến cái gì để viết tránh lạc đề. đặt ra các câu hỏi xung quanh 1 cái topic rồi trả lời chúng.
 
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