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Tôi có một đề bài luận như thế này : Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Đây là bài luận của tôi:
Nowadays, the world is moving from the paper age to technological age with a wide range of modern technological devices. Therefore, technology has become an important part in our lives. This has led to a dispute over whether technology is controlling our lives or it has brought about many positives advancements to human beings. This essay would discuss on both views and give my own opinion.
To begin with, it can be undeniable that technology is taking a stock of our lives. For instance, in many shops, surveillance cameras have been installed in order to prevent thieves. However, some shopper assumed that these cameras interrupted their privacy and they felt uncomfortable when being recorded every move. Secondly, the more modern devices develop, the more we rely on them. As a result, we end up not being able to function without them, for example: use smartphone apps to make a schedule, work projects, etc. Eventually, the deep reliance on modern devices is also such a waste of time. Every day, we just stay in and play game, chat with friends and relatives, tweet with people on social network.
Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that in spite of its negative effects, technology has created many positive changes to human’s life. First of all, technology helps to improve the security and communication. Although surveillance cameras interrupted the customers’ privacy, it is useful to prevent robberies and even in case crimes occur, it could help with the identification of the culprits. Besides, thanks to the advent of many modern devices, communication has become much easier and easier. Nowadays, instead of waiting for a letter for a month or more, we could contact with our friends and relatives immediately only with a mobile phone. We can share photos and chat with your friends and relatives on social media, too. Moreover, technology can help us learn faster and more conveniently. This has led to a hot trend now, e- learning. Only with a computer with the Internet, do we take an online course and learn every time, and everywhere. Not only for students, but this also brings benefits for teachers who are extremely busy with household chores and want to work at home. Eventually, with the development of the Internet, we could instantly access to the news in a very fast way.
In conclusion, while I hold both views, it is up to each individual to decide how and when they use the technology and modern devices. I believe that the benefits of the technology outweigh its drawbacks and we are the people who would decide whether the technology could improve humans' living standard or not.
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joon_young#1

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Nowadays, the world is moving from the paper age to technological age with a wide range of modern technological devices. Therefore, technology has become an important part in (of) our (using our daily lives would be better c: .... it doesn't make any difference, tho :3) lives. This has led to a dispute over whether technology is controlling our lives or it has brought about many positives advancements to human beings. This essay would discuss on both views and give my own opinion.
To begin with, it can be (I don't think the work can should be used)undeniable that technology is taking a stock of (Take stock of something: examine a situation carefully, or to spend some time thinking about the situation that you are in before you decide what to do next.... I don't get it @@) our lives. For instance, in many shops, surveillance cameras have been installed in order to prevent thieves. However, some shoppers assumed (??? complained) that these cameras interrupted their privacy and they felt uncomfortable when being recorded every move. Secondly, the more modern devices develop, the more we rely on them. As a result, we end up not being able to function without them, for example: use smartphone apps to make a schedule, work projects, etc. Eventually, the deep reliance on modern devices is also such a waste of time. Every day, we just stay in and play game, chat with friends and relatives, tweet with (do not use Tweet here) people on social network.
Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that in spite of its negative effects, technology has created many positive changes to human’s life. First of all, technology helps to improve the security (of our home, cuz u use the here) and communication (There's no connection between Security and Communication, so don't use Communication here @@). Although surveillance cameras interrupted the customers’ privacy, it is useful to prevent robberies and even in case crimes occur, it could help (us, people,etc) with the identification of the culprits (that one sounds strange, why don't u use identifying the culprits, it's much more simple). Besides, thanks to the advent of many modern devices, communication has become much easier and easier. Nowadays, instead of waiting for a letter for (such, sounds more natural) a month or more, we could contact with our friends and relatives immediately only with a mobile phone. We can share photos and chat with your friends and relatives on social media, too. Moreover, technology can help us learn faster (Technology doesn't help us learn faster, it helps us learn better, and also broaden our mind) and more conveniently. This has led to a hot trend now, e- learning. Only with a computer with (which is connected to) the Internet, do we take (Is it a question or something??) an online course and learn every time, and everywhere. Not only for students, but this also brings benefits for teachers who are extremely busy with household chores and want to work at home. Eventually, with the development of the Internet, we could instantly access to the news in a very fast way.
In conclusion, while I hold both views (Hold what??), it is (It's) up to each individual to decide how and when they (to) use the technology and modern devices.I believe that the benefits of the technology (technology) outweigh its drawbacks(or its negative impact) and we are the people (ones) who would (don't need it) decide whether the technology could (can) improve humans' living standard (people's standard of living) or not .
Advice:
Use as many simple words as possible, just use SOME complex words or no one would like to read your essay
Use the phrasal verbs that you CAN understand because using complex phrasal verbs without understanding what they mean will totally destroy your essay
 
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