English THCS Check writing

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Dear John,
Thank you for your letter. It was good to hear from you, I’m very happy that you’re going the project at the college about how people use the internet these days.
As you know, I like using the internet. So I know a lot about the internet.
My favorite website is *. This website helps me learning and finding lots of lesson information. It has given me a lot of knowledge. The Internet has changed many ways I do things. Not only can I buy necessity items during the covid 19 but also learn online. I can find many pieces of information for study instead of buying many books. I think the Internet is very useful in modern life.
I hope my opinion is helpful with your project.
All best
*
@Nguyễn Võ Hà Trang chị check cho em với ạ

 

[S I M O]

Dear John,
Thank you for your letter. It was good to hear from you, I’m very happy that you’re going the project at the college on how people use the internet these days.
As you know, my knowledge of the internet is extensive, therefore, I write this letter to provide you with a wide range of information on this topic.
(Đoạn sau tự dưng nói về website thì không hợp lý, bạn phải dẫn dắt để bày tỏ website là một lợi ích của internet và website có ý nghĩa như thế nào vs bạn)
My favorite website is *. This website helps me learning and finding lots of lesson information. It has given me a lot of knowledge. The Internet has changed many ways I do things. Not only can I buy necessity items during the covid 19 but I also learn online. I can find numerous pieces of information for study instead of buying many books. I think the Internet is very useful in modern life.
I hope my opinion is helpful for your project.
All best
[Your name]

 

[ng.htrang2004]

Dear John,
Thank you for your letter. It was good to hear from you, I’m very happy that you’re going the project at the college about how people use the internet these days.
As you know, I like using the internet. So I know a lot about the internet.
My favorite website is *. This website helps me learning and finding lots of lesson information. It has given me a lot of knowledge. The Internet has changed many ways I do things. Not only can I buy necessity items during the covid 19 but also learn online. I can find many pieces of information for study instead of buying many books. I think the Internet is very useful in modern life.
I hope my opinion is helpful with your project.
All best
*
@Nguyễn Võ Hà Trang chị check cho em với ạ

Em ơi chị góp ý thêm là em nên state the purpose of writing từ sau chỗ "Dear" luôn em nhé. Một số câu diễn đạt không hợp lý lắm, nên hạn chế sử dụng cấu trúc đảo ngữ trong writing và nhất là Not only ... but also vì nó rất hay bị misused.

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