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Hoang Anh Tus

Học sinh chăm học
Thành viên
19 Tháng hai 2019
373
297
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Ninh Bình
khanh thien
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Nowadays, while a lot of students live and study in good physical conditions, there rJ still many students with visual impairments. They are facing a lot of discrimination life. They may feel that they are treated less fairly than normal students because of their disabilities. In regular schools, they cannot fully participate in school activities and aJ often left behind.
What can we do to help them overcome their problems? First, people should pay mudl attention to them and know what they need. They have different learning difficulties! however; that does not mean that they cannot learn. Therefore, schools should provioj them with specialised materials and tools such as Braille or large print books, talkirj computers or materials with large print. By giving them these things, we can help theJ learn better.
Second, there should be more close contacts between students with visual impairment and non-disabled ones. They should be put in a cordial atmosphere to work in groups! People should create an atmosphere of friendliness, respect and acceptance during afl activities at school. When working together with students with visual impairments, people will fully understand them and may recognise the talents hidden inside them. This is the thing that all people in our society should do.
It is necessary for all people to give students with visual impairments more opportunitiei in life, and should intergrate them in our community because they are part of our socier. Better understanding of students with visual impairments and more contacts between non-disabled people and disabled people will help students with visual impairmer overcome their difficulties and create a more possitive attitude towards them.
(Mọi người ơi ! mọi người sửa hộ em bài viết này với ạ )
(Bài viết này nói đến problems vs solution của nhiều trẻ em bị khiếm thị )
 

Hien Dang

Cựu Mod tiếng Anh
Thành viên
2 Tháng chín 2021
836
1
858
136
21
Nam Định
NEU
Nowadays, while a lot of students live and study in good physical conditions, there rJ still many students with visual impairments. They (These impaired students) are facing a lot of discrimination life (bỏ) They may feel that they are treated less fairly than normal students (unfairly) because of their disabilities. In regular schools, they cannot fully participate in school activities and aJ often left behind.
What can we do to help them overcome their problems? First, people should pay mudl (?) attention to them and know (try to find out) what they need. They have different learning difficulties! however; that does not mean that they cannot learn. Therefore, schools should provioj them with specialised materials and tools such as Braille or large print books, talkirj computers or materials with large print. By giving them these things, we can help theJ learn better.
Second, there should be more close contacts (interaction) between students with visual impairment and non-disabled ones. They should be put in a cordial atmosphere to work in groups! People should create an atmosphere of friendliness, respect and acceptance during afl activities at school. When working together with students with visual impairments, people will fully understand them and may recognise the talents hidden inside them (their hidden talents) This is the thing that all people in our society should do.
It is necessary for all people to give students with visual impairments more opportunitiei in life, and should intergrate them in our community because they are part of our socier. Better understanding of students with visual impairments and more contacts between non-disabled (có thể thay bằng able-bodied) people and disabled people will help students with visual impairmer overcome their difficulties and create a more possitive attitude towards them.

Còn một số lỗi typing bạn tự sửa nhé, có vẻ như đoạn 1 nói về problems nhưng nó chưa rõ lắm, ý cũng khá vụn chưa có tổ chức. Bạn cũng nên viết một đoạn intro trước khi viết sang đoạn problems.
 
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Hoang Anh Tus

Học sinh chăm học
Thành viên
19 Tháng hai 2019
373
297
76
Ninh Bình
khanh thien
Nowadays, while a lot of students live and study in good physical conditions, there rJ still many students with visual impairments. They (These impaired students) are facing a lot of discrimination life (bỏ) They may feel that they are treated less fairly than normal students (unfairly) because of their disabilities. In regular schools, they cannot fully participate in school activities and aJ often left behind.
What can we do to help them overcome their problems? First, people should pay mudl (?) attention to them and know (try to find out) what they need. They have different learning difficulties! however; that does not mean that they cannot learn. Therefore, schools should provioj them with specialised materials and tools such as Braille or large print books, talkirj computers or materials with large print. By giving them these things, we can help theJ learn better.
Second, there should be more close contacts (interaction) between students with visual impairment and non-disabled ones. They should be put in a cordial atmosphere to work in groups! People should create an atmosphere of friendliness, respect and acceptance during afl activities at school. When working together with students with visual impairments, people will fully understand them and may recognise the talents hidden inside them (their hidden talents) This is the thing that all people in our society should do.
It is necessary for all people to give students with visual impairments more opportunitiei in life, and should intergrate them in our community because they are part of our socier. Better understanding of students with visual impairments and more contacts between non-disabled (có thể thay bằng able-bodied) people and disabled people will help students with visual impairmer overcome their difficulties and create a more possitive attitude towards them.

Còn một số lỗi typing bạn tự sửa nhé, có vẻ như đoạn 1 nói về problems nhưng nó chưa rõ lắm, ý cũng khá vụn chưa có tổ chức. Bạn cũng nên viết một đoạn intro trước khi viết sang đoạn problems.
bạn đề xuất một vài ý về problems để mình viết được không ạ?
 

Hien Dang

Cựu Mod tiếng Anh
Thành viên
2 Tháng chín 2021
836
1
858
136
21
Nam Định
NEU
bạn đề xuất một vài ý về problems để mình viết được không ạ?
Đầu tiên thì mình thấy ở bài viết gốc bạn có nói về discrimination thì bạn có thể phát triển ý đó nhé (1 là treat unfairly 2 là bị isolated). Có thể thêm một ý về navigation in unfamiliar environments, kiểu như sẽ khó khăn cho họ để di chuyển ở trong một môi trường lạ.
 
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