English THPT writing ( disadvantages of using electronic devices )

[nguyenngoc2212]

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từ những gợi ý sau :
+ distract students from their study
+ bad for your eyes , harm your health
+ student access to inappropriate

 

[Trinh Linh Mai]

từ những gợi ý sau :
+ distract students from their study
+ bad for your eyes , harm your health
+ student access to inappropriate

Bạn kham thảo nhá!
Ở đây mình sẽ trình bày theo một đoạn văn ạ ><
In my opinion, the use of electronic devices too much will not make sense for our school age. Because, I have found quite a few disadvantages in it. Firstly, when we are too dependent on electrical devices, it distracts us from learning. For a student, distractions cause poor learning. They will be used to play games, text and chat with strangers that will be extremely dangerous to us and our family. The abuse of it will affect the student's character and attitude. Secondly, using too much time for electronic devices affects the health of each person. It is harmful to our eyes, when viewing and downloading too many pictures on the Internet. In the end, this harm will impair their dignity. Because when the student gets to know and converse with strangers this affects the inappropriate student's approach. So, through the above harms, I advise everyone to use electronic equipment as reasonably possible. Let's join hands for a good society!

 

[ahn___w]

Bạn kham thảo nhá!
Ở đây mình sẽ trình bày theo một đoạn văn ạ ><
In my opinion, the use of electronic devices too much will not make sense for our school age. Because, I have found quite a few disadvantages in it. Firstly, when we are too dependent on electrical devices, it distracts us from learning. For a student, distractions cause poor learning. They will be used to play games, text and chat with strangers that will be extremely dangerous to us and our family. The abuse of it will affect the student's character and attitude. Secondly, using too much time for electronic devices affects the health of each person. It is harmful to our eyes, when viewing and downloading too many pictures on the Internet. In the end, this harm will impair their dignity. Because when the student gets to know and converse with strangers this affects the inappropriate student's approach. So, through the above harms, I advise everyone to use electronic equipment as reasonably possible. Let's join hands for a good society!

Mình sửa lại chút lỗi ngữ pháp ạ!
In my opinion, the use of electronic devices too much will not make sense for our school age. Because, => Because I have found quite a few disadvantages in it. Firstly, when we are too dependent on electrical devices, it distracts us from learning. For a student, distractions cause poor learning. They will be used to play games, text and chat with strangers that will be extremely dangerous to us and our family. The abuse of it will affect the student's character and attitude. Secondly, using too much time for => on electronic devices affects the health of each person. It is harmful to our eyes, => eyes when viewing and downloading too many pictures on the Internet. In the end, this harm will impair their dignity. Because when the student gets to know and converse with strangers this affects the inappropriate student's approach. So, through the above harms, I advise everyone to use electronic equipment as reasonably possible. Let's join hands for a good society!