Write a letter to give health advice to your friend

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Ngo Quyen Street
12th, August,2020
Dear Peter
I received your letter in yesterday. I knew your problem. I has a knowledge about your sickness. In this letter, I will give you my advice.
First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder in order send blood to muscle and viscera. So your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat vegetable. You should be vegetarian. Because vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have many vitamins like A, B9, C. So you will be healthy and live longer.
Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things
I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem.
Best regards
Kien

 

[Lê Linh433]

Ngo Quyen Street
12th, August,2020
Dear Peter
I received your letter in yesterday. I knew your problem. I has a knowledge about your sickness. In this letter, I will give you my advice.
First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder in order send blood to muscle and viscera. So your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat vegetable. You should be vegetarian. Because vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have many vitamins like A, B9, C. So you will be healthy and live longer.
Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things
I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem.
Best regards
Kien

em ơi!!! Rốt cuộc em muốn yêu cầu gì trong đoạn văn???
Nhận xét hay làm bài cho em

 

[KhanhKhanhk7]

Ngo Quyen Street
12th, August,2020
Dear Peter
I received your letter in yesterday. I knew your problem. I has a knowledge about your sickness. In this letter, I will give you my advice.
First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder in order send blood to muscle and viscera. So your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat vegetable. You should be vegetarian. Because vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have many vitamins like A, B9, C. So you will be healthy and live longer.
Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things
I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem.
Best regards
Kien

Bạn nên ghi rõ đề bài nha. Lần sau mong bạn rút kinh nghiệm

 

[Tzuyu-chan]

Ngo Quyen Street
12th, August,2020
Dear Peter
I received your letter in yesterday. I knew your problem. I has a knowledge about your sickness. In this letter, I will give you my advice.
First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder in order send blood to muscle and viscera. So your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat vegetable. You should be vegetarian. Because vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have many vitamins like A, B9, C. So you will be healthy and live longer.
Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things
I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem.
Best regards
Kien

như 2 bạn ở trên , mình cũng chẳng hiểu yêu cầu của bạn là gì , trong bài văn có một số lỗi (theo mình nghĩ là sai ) , bạn tham khảo :
I received your letter in yesterday. I knew your problem. I has->had a knowledge about your sickness. In this letter, I will give you my advice.
First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder in order to send blood to muscle and viscera. So your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat vegetable. You should be vegetarian. Because vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have->has ( không đếm được) many vitamins like A, B9, C. So you will be healthy->healthier and live longer.
Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things
I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem

 

[Từ Lê Thảo Vy]

Ngo Quyen Street
12th, August,2020
Dear Peter

I received your letter in => bỏ yesterday. I knew => know your problem. I has => have a knowledge about your sickness. (Về cấu trúc của knowledge, khi dùng knowledge thì nó mang nghĩa sự hiểu biết này thiên về good knowledge, và nó thường đi với giới từ of hoặc about. Còn nếu dùng mạo từ a đằng trước thì a knowledge nó mang nghĩa à hiểu biết rất nhiều, nó thiên về much knowledge hơn là good knowledge, và nó chỉ đi với giới từ of) Vì vậy nên ở chỗ này mình nghĩ bạn nên dùng "I have knowledge of/about your sickness") In this letter, I will give you my advice.

First, you should do exercise usually. Because it will help your heart stronger and it will work harder => bỏ in order to send blood to muscle and viscera. So => Therefore, (so không được sử dụng ở đằng sau dấu chấm nhé, nó chỉ được sử dụng sau dấu phẩy. Therefore cũng đồng nghĩa với so nhưng khi dùng therefore thì cần phải có dấu chấm hoặc dấu phẩy đằng trước và dấu phẩy đằng sau) your body will be stronger and you will be able to cure your problem.
Secondly, you should eat more vegetable. You should => ought to (để tránh lặp từ với câu trước thì bạn nên sử dụng những từ đồng nghĩa với should như là ought to, had better,...) be vegetarian because (hai câu này nên được ghép vào với nhau vì khi tách ra nghe rất lủng củng) vegetable will help you get many vitamins. Vegetable have => has (vegerable ở đây không đếm được) many vitamins like A, B9, C. So (lỗi này cũng như trên nhưng tránh để lặp từ nó không hay thì bạn nên ghép hai câu với nhau và bỏ dấu chấm đi) you will be healthy and live longer.

Last but not least, you shouldn’t work too hard. You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things. (thứ nhất là lỗi lặp từ should. Thứ hai là cách bạn dùng từ ngữ và cấu trúc không được hay cho lắm. Cả hai câu đều có ý giống nhau nên cậu có thể ghép lại một câu thành "Try to relax more by watching funny things, playing sport with friends,...You will feel more comfortable after a hard-working day"

I hope you will do my advice. And you will be able to cure your problem soon. Just write a letter to my If you have any problem.
Best regards
Kien

Theo mình thấy thì bạn vướng rất nhiều lỗi về diễn đạt, bạn nên luyện viết nhiều hơn, sử dụng những liên từ và cấu trúc câu để câu trở nên đa dạng và hay hơn. Sẽ tốt lên nhanh thôi nè ^^

 

[Hazu No No Money]

You should relax enough to help your body take the energy after a hard-working day. Try to relax and watch funny things

You should spend a suitable amount of time for relaxing to help your body recovery after a hard-working day.

Như bạn ở trên nói câu này không hay cho lắm nên mình sửa lại bạn tham khảo nhé

 

[Tzuyu-chan]

You should spend a suitable amount of time for relaxing to help your body recovery after a hard-working day.

Như bạn ở trên nói câu này không hay cho lắm nên mình sửa lại bạn tham khảo nhé

Mình nghĩ bạn nên bỏ for vì khi bỏ nó đi thì nghĩa vẫn không thay đổi nhiều
spend + time + doing sth ; dành thời gian cho việc gì