[Tiếng Anh]- giúp mình sửa bài tí!

[diemkieu007]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

sau đây là 2 bài viết . góp ý giùm mình.
topic1: why are people living longer?

Thanks to the advancement in technology, better lifestyle and nutritional diets, people are living longer. Nowadays
The advancement in technology helps us cure many fatal diseases. For example, cancer used to have no cure in the last decade, but now, the doctors use X-ray and various types of medicines to extend the patients live. The advancement in technology can also make medicines which have great effect and without any side effects.
Today, People are having better lifestyle than in the past. We are more interested in our health. We advise the doctors before buying medicine instead of consuming medicine. Neutralizing between working and taking a rest helps us feel more comfortable and reduce the chances of getting the disease.
Being on a diet is not only a way to keep fit, but also becomes a global tendency. We are aware of the food what we eat. People are richer, so the quality of foods is an important norm to buy foods
In conclusion, advancement in technology and raising awareness in healthy lifestyle help us to extend our live. We can believe that people will live longer and healthier than that.
lưu ý là bài này có thu thập thông tin trên mạng nên có đôi chỗ sẽ giống cái bản thống kê mà tuj lấy thông tin. còn lại tuj tự viết

topic 2 : nói về phương tiện giao thông làm ô nhiễm môi trường
There are many social problems in modern life. And traffic transportation causes a lot of serious problems.
Traffic transportation makes our environment polluted. The exhaust from cars, motorbikes, .dirties the air too much. Traffic transportation causes noise which makes we feel unpleasant. This is one of the noise pollution. Beside, the oil washed from means of transport is pumped into the land and the sea. Not only does it damage the land and the sea, but also makes trees and animals died in many ways.
In addition to the environmental pollution, traffic transportation is a reason which causes a lot of road accidents. Specially, the traffic jam is a problem which makes many drivers scared.
According to me, the government should enforce some laws which can reduce the number of road accidents. We shouldn’t use means of transport which make noise and dirtiness. Let’s use our bicycle as much as possible, plant trees to keep the environment clearer.
In conclusion, although traffic transportation causes a lot of serious problems, it’s our faults. So, we should be aware of using means of transportation.
mong giúp đỡ %%- %%- thanks trước

 

[proechcom]

cho pro gửi bài cùng với nhưng bài này thì chỉ cầnmoij người rút gọn cho ngắn đi thôi :
DRAGON'S CHILDREN ,FAIRY' GRAND CHILDEN
Once upon a time, in the land called Lac Viet, there was a saint named Lac Long Quan, whose mother was a fairy but the father was a dragon. He was extraordinarily strong and had many miracles. He usually lived under the water and sometimes turned to the land to help people suppressing demons, taught them to grow rice and cut wood for building houses.
He then got married with Au Co - daughter of Agriculture Saint - and the couple lived in harmony in Long Trang Palace on the land. Later Au Co gave birth to a 100-egg bag hatching to 100 sons.
Once day Lac Long Quan felt that it was impossible for him to live permanently like that so he told his wife that:
- I'm a son of dragon and I accustomed to live under the water while you belong to fairy race in the land. We could not share our lives for long so I will take 50 of our sons to settle down into the sea, the remainder will follow you to go up to the mountain. Although we separate, remember to help and protect each other in need. Don't forget my words.
The wife and all the sons obeyed him then they said farewell.
The eldest son, who had followed the mother with 49 brothers, attained the highest honors as King Hung. He set up his capital in Phong Chau and gave country the name Van Lang. There were military and civilian officials in the court. Throne would be ceded to the eldest son called King Hung from generation to generation
For the story Vietnamese are always proud of the noble origin - dragon's children and fairy's grand children.

 

[amaranth]

topic1: why are people living longer?

Thanks to the advancement in technology, in better lifestyle, and in nutritional diets, people are living longer nowadays.
The advancement in technology helps us cure many fatal diseases. For example, cancer used to have no cure in the last decade, but now, the doctors use X-ray and various types of medicines to extend the patients' lives. The advancement in technology can also make medicines which that have great effects and without any side effects.
Today, People are having better lifestyle than in the past. We are more interested in our health. We advise with the doctors before buying medicine instead of consuming medicine under our own decisions. Neutralizing between working and taking a rest resting helps us feel more comfortable and reduces the chances of getting the disease.
Being on a diet is not only a way to keep fit, but also becomes a global tendency. We are more aware of the food what that we eat. People are richer, so the quality of foods is an important norm in consumption. to buy foods
In conclusion, advancement in technology and raising awareness in healthy lifestyle help us to extend our lives. We can believe that people will live longer and healthier than that.

Chỗ in đậm là cần thêm vào, gạch chân là cần bỏ đi.
Câu nào bé không hiểu thì hỏi nhé.
Mai anh chữa nốt cho bài kia, bây giờ anh buồn ngủ rồi Hôm nay đi chơi cả ngày )
À mà nhân tiện, anh thấy người ta thường xài advance (danh từ) luôn, hôm nay đọc thấy advancement... nghe nó lạ lạ...