[Tiếng Anh]- Environment Issues: Pollution.

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Pollution can take many forms. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the ground where we grow our food, and even the increasing noise we hear every day contribute to health problems and a lower quality of life. Find out about the environment issues of pollution, what’s being done on a global level, and what you can do in your community.
There are so many kinds of pollution. The air we breathe is the result of industrial factory's exhaust fumes. It's really harmful for people's health and can lead to many diseases. The water we drink caused by human activities, which can be harmful to organisms and plants that live in lakes, rivers, ocean. We take water from lakes, river, underground to use .afterthat, most of it was returned to these locations. Waste water was sent back to the river and ocean brought toxic chemicals and things can cause diseases to the fish and the aquatic life. Finally is the ground pollution is really a sickness of the ground. It's caused by polluted groundwater and the noxious industrial wastes. In recycle system, there's some trash that people can not burn or recycle to use it again. The best way people can think of to solve the problem is buried it under the ground. Those things such as plastic ,glass, batteries , .... always bring toxic that can pollute the soil.

 

[believe_in_rose296]

Pollution can take many forms. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the ground where we grow our food, and even the increasing noise we hear every day contribute to health problems and a lower quality of life. Find out about the environment issues of pollution, what’s being done on a global level, and what you can do in your community.(trong văn viết, không viết câu mệnh lệnh mà phải viết câu có đủ chủ ngữ và vị ngữ).
There are so many kinds of pollution. The air we breathe is the result of industrial factory's exhaust fumes. It's really harmful for people's health and can lead to many diseases. The water we drink caused by human activities, which (bỏ đi) can be harmful to organisms and plants that live in lakes, rivers, ocean. We take water from lakes, river, underground to use. After that, most of it was (chuyển thành is) returned to these locations. Waste water which is sent back to the river and ocean brings toxic chemicals and things that can cause diseases to the fish and the aquatic life. Finally, the ground pollution is really a sickness of the ground. It's caused by polluted groundwater and the noxious industrial wastes. In recycle system, there's some trash that people can not burn or recycle to use it again. The best way people can think of to solve the problem is to bury it under the ground. Those things such as plastic ,glass, batteries , .... always bring toxic that can pollute the soil.

Nhận xét:
- Một đoạn văn phải có cấu trúc rõ ràng, có câu nếu lên đại ý của cả đoạn, có những câu giải thích cho cái ý vừa đưa ra và có câu kết luận lại vấn đề, em nên viết theo cấu trúc này nhé. Về ý em nên sắp xếp lại đoạn văn trên.
- Những lỗi câu cú chị bôi đỏ đó.

Three essential parts compose any paragraph: a topic sentence, supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

1. Topic Sentence: it states the main idea of the paragraph. It contains the name of the topic that is to be carried out. This sentence has to be precise, but avoid telling everything in the first sentence or your reader will lose interest. The topic sentence serves to limit the topic to one or two areas that will be discussed entirely in the space of one paragraph. The area is what we call the controlling idea.
2. Supporting Sentences: they come after the topic sentence, making up the body of a paragraph. they help develop the topic sentence. It means that these sentences explain the topic by giving reasons, examples, facts, statistics, and quotations.
3. Closing Sentences: it´s the last sentence in a paragraph, it indicates that the paragraph is ending and sums up important points to remember or reprises the main idea. You write it restating the main idea of a paragraph but using different words.

In addition to the three parts of a paragraph, a good paragraph also needs two important elements: unity and coherence. Unity: it means that in your paragraph you discuss one and only one main idea which is stated in the topic sentence and then developed by the supporting sentences. Coherence: it means that your paragraph is easy to read and understand because:

* your supporting sentences are in logical order
* your ideas are connected by the use of a appropriate transition signals.

 

[believe_in_rose296]

Chị sửa lại như sau nhé:

There are three major types of environmental pollution: air, water and ground pollution. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the ground where we grow our food, and even the increasing noise we hear every day contribute to health problems and a lower quality of life. The air we breathe is the result of industrial factory's exhaust fumes. It's really harmful for people's health and can lead to many diseases. The water we drink can be harmful to organisms and plants that live in lakes, rivers, ocean. We take water from lakes, river, underground to use. After that, most of it is returned to these locations. Waste water which is sent back to the river and ocean brings toxic chemicals and things that can cause diseases to the fish and the aquatic life. Finally, the ground pollution is really a sickness of the ground. It's caused by polluted groundwater and the noxious industrial wastes. Those things such as plastic ,glass, batteries always bring toxic that can pollute the soil. Environmental pollution is causing a lot of distress not only to humans but also animals. We certainly need to get our act together to protect our environment.