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Hà Huy Hoàng

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Nguyễn Lê Thành Vinh

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Bạn copy bản đó lên nhé :)
ĐÂY nhé bạn bạn xem hộ bạn ấy !
All of people know energy is very important for people life.But people use it so waste. And if the Earth haven’t energy, people will die.
Firstly, Do you think take baths better than take a showers? No, take showers instead of baths.
Secondly, we should use saving light bulbs in our houses. It will help us to reduce our electricity bill.
Next, we should use public transport if we need to go long distances and we can use bicycles for short distances. I think it is good for health.
Do you think use phone is waste energy?
If use phone too much we need to change more and if we change more we will waste electric.
Electric is one kind of energy.
If we use much light we will waste much energy. So, to safe electric we must turn off the light or electricity devices you don’t need.
If we watch TV very much we will waste very much energy and it will harm your eyes, so let turn off the TV and go out side.
If you use electricity devices when you go to bed much you will wastes a lot of energy and it not good for your health.
Instead just sleep normally.
If you use fridge for cooling your body you will waste a lots of energy.
Close the fridge when you are not using it.
If we waste water we will lost many money,
So save water today to not waste your money.
So save energy today for a better world tomorrow! Thank for reading!
 
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Hà Huy Hoàng

Học sinh
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2 Tháng một 2018
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Trung học cơ sở Đức Xuân
ĐÂY nhé bạn bạn xem hộ bạn ấy !
All of people know energy is very important for people life.But people use it so waste. And if the Earth haven’t energy, people will die.
Firstly, Do you think take baths better than take a showers? No, take showers instead of baths.
Secondly, we should use saving light bulbs in our houses. It will help us to reduce our electricity bill.
Next, we should use public transport if we need to go long distances and we can use bicycles for short distances. I think it is good for health.
Do you think use phone is waste energy?
If use phone too much we need to change more and if we change more we will waste electric.
Electric is one kind of energy.
If we use much light we will waste much energy. So, to safe electric we must turn off the light or electricity devices you don’t need.
If we watch TV very much we will waste very much energy and it will harm your eyes, so let turn off the TV and go out side.
If you use electricity devices when you go to bed much you will wastes a lot of energy and it not good for your health.
Instead just sleep normally.
If you use fridge for cooling your body you will waste a lots of energy.
Close the fridge when you are not using it.
If we waste water we will lost many money,
So save water today to not waste your money.
So save energy today for a better world tomorrow! Thank for reading!
Theo bạn mình có sai ngữ pháp câu nào không ạ?
 

ng.htrang2004

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All of people know that energy is very important for people's lives.But people use it so waste. And if the Earth didn't have energy, people would have die.
Câu điều kiện không có thật ở HT
Firstly, Do you think take baths better than take a showers? No, take showers instead of baths.
Không nên dùng câu hỏi trong văn viết
Secondly, we should use saving light bulbs in our houses. It will help us to reduce our electricity bill.
Next, we should use public transport if when we need to go long distances and we can use bicycles for short distances. I think it is good for health.
Do you think use phone is waste energy? If we use phone too much, we need to change more and if we change more we will waste electricity.
Electricity is one kind of energy. If we use much light we will waste much energy. So, to save electric we must turn off the light or electricity devices you don’t need.
If we watch TV very much we will waste very much energy and it will harm your eyes, so let turn off the TV and go out side.
If you use electricity devices when you go to bed much you will wastes a lot of energy and it not good for your health.Instead just sleep normally.
If you use fridge for cooling your body you will waste a lots of energy. Close the fridge when you are not using it.
If we waste water we will lost many money, So save water today to not waste your money.
So save energy today for a better world tomorrow! Thank for reading!

Nhìn chung bài viết của bạn khá phong phú về ý tưởng, nhưng cách trình bày một bài văn của bạn chưa tốt về cả nội dung lẫn hình thức, bạn viết như thế này là bài viết có tới gần chục đoạn, mà mỗi đoạn lại chỉ có 1 câu, bạn chưa chứng minh được vấn đề mà bạn nêu ra, các ý đưa ra hết sức lủng củng!
Lầ sau hi vọng bạn viết tốt hơn
 
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Coco99

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Vie!
didn't have energy, people would die.
Doesn't have the energy, vì nếu em dùng didn't thì => would have died.


Firstly, Do you think take baths better than take a showers? No, take showers instead of baths.
Không nên dùng câu hỏi trong văn viết
Trong văn vt có thể dùng câu hỏi để người đọc phải tập trung, và như vậy sẽ làm họ muốn đọc và tìm hiểu xem người vt có chung ý tưởng hoặc có thể có những yếu tưởng hay hơn.
Nhưng cách bạn dùng câu hỏi ko ổn cho lắm. Khi đưa ra câu trả lời, bạn phải cho thêm nhận xét cx như tại sao Bn hỏi như vậy, mục đích của bạn là gì giống như Bn Tmod đã ns trên.
=> Do you prefer to take a bath or a shower?
"Do you think take bath" một dòng toàn động từ, mất 1 điểm r á ^^ => Do you think taking bath....
"Do you think use phone" => Do u think using phone....
If we use phone, change more? "Charge," change là thay đổi mà ^^
=> Charge phones do take up much electricity and therefor, there is heaps of electricity have been using. (Bạn sạc pin cho máy điện thoại ko f là waste mà là thiết yếu. Vì bạn sạc xong, số lương pin là thiết yếu để bạn dùng vd như onl học mãi^^)
Từ đây, bạn hãy đọc kỹ lại bài văn và sửa cách viết câu nhé. Chính tả: Thank for reading? Thanks for reading. Grammar của bạn ko đến nỗi, thử vt lại r đăng lên đây xem, chắc là sẽ hay hơn đấy ^^
** Trước khi vt luận, vd về waste of electricity. Ns rõ hơn nghĩa của bài bạn đang vt vd: Waisting electricty is one of 'should not do thing' due to the fact that it's used by most of the world population and as u know, there are many third world countries are having no lights, electricity to be used.
Vt nhiều thành quen à, good luck cho bài tt ^^
 
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