I/Topic 1
In conclusion, I think at this moment I would prefer to live in an apartment. It can help me save some money and allows me to spend more time studying because I will not have to do many household tasks.
Phần viết trên của bạn hơi dài nên..tớ , tớ chỉ góp ý đoạn này vs topic 2 :d
Ở đoạn cuối topic 1
I would prefer to live in an apartment
Form : SB prefer doing sth
I will not have to do many household tasks : để nói đến công việc nhà, tớ thường thấy người ta dùng household chores thay vì tasks 
Hơn nữa, caau này dùng Simple Future tense có hợp lý k?
II/Topic 2
If I won 10 billion Vietnam dong in the lottery? I don't really know what I would spend on. But I'm a girl. Girls spend much money on things. I would buy clothes, interesting books, my mobile, lovey things for girls, laptop, Ipod, Ipad, Iphone,... and everything I want. And I would spend some of the money on my own shop: a clothes shop or a food store
Moreover, I would travel around the world
In addition, I think that a little of the remaining money would go to charity: orphanage, disabled people,... :x
Finally, the remaining money I would share out with my family and friends, keeping a little for myself in the bank.
I don't really know what I would spend on. But I'm a girl => hình như 2 câu này chẳng có quan hệ gì hết trơn , sao lại dùng "but" nhỉ :-SS
lovey things for girls : what do you mean by "lovey" ?
a food store => a food stall or a restaurant : popular hơn
I would share out with my family and friends, => Share sth with someone
Mình viết còn nhiều thiếu sót, có gì check và sửa giùm nha
Tớ chỉ góp ý có vậy ;~
Check tiếp :d
From the one side, living in a modern apartment building brings many benefits. First of all, it is cheaper then ;
lỗi chính ta cưng nhé than living in a traditional house and paying different kinds of fees
có cần Relatives pronoun ở đây k nhỉ I am not familiar with. For instance, my friend, who recently bought a new house for his family,
said me->
said to me / told me , kg có said me that it is much easier to live in an apartment
(chỗ này cần chuyển sang reported speech k nhỉ? ;~) and I tend to believe him when I see his bills. So, living in an apartment will definitely help me to save some money. Second of all, since I live alone I do not need a big house with many rooms. I just need a bedroom and a living room where I can take my guests and have my work place
(hỏi đùa tí : thế toilet vs bathroom ở đâu? hỏi chơi thôi =)) ). Another important benefit of living in an apartment is that I will not have to buy much cumbersome furniture in order to furnish all rooms.
However, living in a modern apartment building can have a few disadvantages too. Firstly, it can be noisy and, secondly, I will not have any
privacy outside my apartment:">
em nghĩ là dùng private space có vẻ hay hơn :d, for example,
in->prep ở đây có tác dụng gì ạ? :-? a pool or gym.
From the other side , living in a traditional house have some advantages too. For example, I can have my own pool, gym and a garden where I can relax and be alone. However, living in a house is usually more expensive and requires more time to maintain a house. For instance, I will most likely have to hire someone to mow my lawn and clean my pool not to mention all household tasks inside the house.
In conclusion, I think at this moment I would prefer to live in an apartment. It can help me save some money and allows me to spend more time studying because I will not have to do many household tasks.
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