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Hi,
I’ve been practicing writing English essays and below is by far the worst one, which was also the first essay that I wrote directly at school. I hope someone can have a look at this and give me some advice on my essay. Thanks in advance.
Topic: People are destroying their environment. What solutions do you suggest to make the environment better than it is now?
The development of human life has brought us a variety of benefits. This, however, also makes a lot of people forget the globe where they are living, which leads to a reality that people are destroying their environment. Fortunately, there are solutions. (This sentence was struck through by my teacher)
The first problem worth mentioning is the pollution including air pollution and water pollution. Obviously, with their irresponsible acts, they are making bad effects on fundamental subsistance things around them. In order to prevent this, residents should be banned from throwing garbages indiscriminately, instead of what are usually seen everyday. (My teacher put a question mark after this). As big factories, they should purify water before discharging it into the sea (question mark again). In these two ways, people can stop the water environment’s pollution and also preserve the marine life. For air pollution, the biggest problem is that people tend to overuse their personal cars, which leads to air contamination. This probably comes from their way of thinking of convenience. Therefore, government should encourage them to use public transportations, for example, by providing cheap and comfortable buses or trains... Besides, car users can be baffled if there is a disadvantage for them when using cars. To take an example, recently, many countries have passed laws to increase tax for car consumers. Luckily, this has shown some positive changes in people’s habit.
The second issue is deforestation. It is reported that we are losing more and more hectares of forests every year due to cutting down trees without carefully planning. My suggestion is that local authorities set up heavy punishment for those who do harm to the forests, which means not only fining but also sentencing them to prison for years. If the condition of forests is too bad, people can rectify their mistakes (underlined) by replanting trees annually. Additionally, it is necessary that people who devote to forest protection be given a reward for their meaningful work to save our environment. Forests play an extremely part in the environment so humans are (My teacher eventually replaced this with “should be more”) responsible for utilizing the most effective solutions to their dramatic disappearance.
Last but not least, people are causing natural resources exhausion. Most humans are subject to their own sake while sometimes, they are, in fact, doing damage to their own future. To tackle (added “the problem” right after), government should prohibit people from gatting natural resources voraciously because natural resources always take millions of years to recover. Moreover, people should try to abuse natural resources to get energy (I must have forgotten to use the word “renewable” instead of “natural”. My teacher then corrected: “use renewable sources of energy”). For instance, we can take energy from sun, waves, or winds, which will stop natural resources from exhausion.
In conclusion, our environment is being unmitigatedly destroyed. Therefore, it is people’s duty to do something about it. Each of us should be fully aware, change attitudes towards and give (changed into “find” by my teacher) solutions to this issue.