[T.A] - Sửa bài viết dùm mình

K

kuckutkute

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

write about your family
Like the other people, I also have a warm family.I've got a gôd father, a thrifty mother and a well behaved sister I'm very lucky when I have the best father in the world. my father is an engineer. he's 43 years old. he always teaches me the reason. Sometimes, he's too strick but I know he only wants we'll be well. he never scolds me. he don't think strick is the best. he's a real friend. I thick that my father is as kind as my intimate friend.He usually inspirits me when I am sad. If I'm happy, he'll share the joys with me! When I was 3, my father was my teacher. He taught me how to read or write. I read well but I couldn't write. when I wrote, he marked me 5 pt for the writting and 10 pt for my character.E very sday he gave me a prize. iT made by an orange tied with a rope. It looked like a medal. he loves me and so do I. He is my everything, he's my light in my way, he's my teacher, my firend and he's my father. he's taught me life lessons and i've never fogot them. My mother is the most beautiful woman. She's more beautiful than any women i've met. She's a doctor. She likes listening to music, especially the song are serious like "ballad". She also likes cooking. She likes chinese food and Vietnamese food. She never eats japanese food. She thick that Japanese food is dirty. she doesn't like Indian food toobecaus It doesn't good for your health.She has to work hard all the day but she always take careof me. I want to say loudly: mom i love you. My sister is a little princess. She 's very naughty. When she was 4, we went to my grandparent's house. my sister tried to drag the dog. She wanted to brush him. But. I thick the dog wasn't happy, because, he caught her and she ran around the garden. She like horror film but she hates ghost, we always watch horror film together, but, after that, she can'tsleep herself and she usually has nightmare. I thick she's lovely, pretty but really lazy! My grandmother lives with my family. she's old so. sometimes she's really stupid. I thought I hate her. Last month she went to hospital because she had an accident. when i met her I cried and she cried too.And now. I knew : i really love her. I love my family_ where i was born and grew up. I pround of all the members in my family.
Đây là bài thi của tớ nhờ sửa giúp hah. với cả dịch sang tiếng anh hộ tớ câu này: Các bạn có biết FAMILy viết đầy dủ là gì kg: Father And Mother I Love You
giúp cái nha' ca?m ơn trước:D:D:D:D
 
T

tranthuha93

Đây là bài thi của tớ nhờ sửa giúp hah. với cả dịch sang tiếng anh hộ tớ câu này: Các bạn có biết FAMILy viết đầy dủ là gì kg: Father And Mother I Love You
\RightarrowDo you know what is FAMILY written fully ? it is that Father And Mother I Love You

t nghĩ thế, còn bài kia , thì t nấu cơm đã;)) :)tí nữa lên xem cho bn:D
 
S

symptom

Like other people, I also have a warm family.I've got a gôd father ( godfather -bố già :D ), a thrifty mother and a well behaved sister
I'm very lucky to have the best father in the world, an 43-year-old engineer. He always teaches me the reason (từ này dùng với nghĩa gì thế ). Sometimes, he's too strict but I know he only wants us to be good/to do us good. he never scolds me. he doesn't think strictness is the best. he's a real friend. I think that my father is as close as my intimate friend.He usually inspires me when I am sad and share my joys when I'm happy! When I was 3, my father was my teacher. He taught me how to read and write. I read well but I couldn't write. when I wrote, he gave me 5 pts for the writting and 10 pts for my character.Every day he gave me a prize, made by tying an orange with a rope. It looked like a medal. he loves me and so do I. He means everything to me. He's the light in my way. He's my teacher, my friend and above all my father. He's taught me life lessons which i've never forgotten/will never forget

My mother is the most beautiful woman i've met. She's a doctor. She likes listening to music, especially the song are serious like "ballad" (ballad là serious à bạn :D ). She also likes cooking. She likes Chinese and Vietnamese food but never eats Japanese food which she think is dirty. she doesn't like Indian food either,because it isn't good for your health.She has to work hard all day long but she always takes care of me. I want to say loudly: mom i love you.

My sister is a little princess. She 's very naughty. When she was 4, we went to my grandparent's house. my sister tried to drag the dog. She wanted to brush him. However I think the dog wasn't too happy, and ( tried to catch her and) chase her around the garden. She likes horror film but she hates ghost. We always watch horror film together, but, after that, she can't sleep by herself/alone and usually has nightmare. I thick she's lovely, pretty but really lazy!

My grandmother lives with my family. she's old ,so sometimes she's really stupid. I thought I hated her. However ,last month, she went to hospital because of an accident and when i met her, I cried and she cried too.So now, I know : i really love her. I love my family_ where i was born and grew up. I proud of all the members in my family.

And do you know what FAMILY stands for ? Father And Mother I Love You​


Theo mình thì nên sửa các chỗ đó
 
Last edited by a moderator:
S

shadkozi

Góp ý cho bài của bạn nè:
Về phần của bố thì tạm ổn nhưng bạn dùng quá nhiều câu đơn "he is .....". Điều này sẽ làm người đọc feel sleepy
Nên cố giảm càng nhiều câu đơn càng tốt và thay bằng các câu phức và cách nói khác

Về phần mẹ, mở đầu ko đc lắm nên liên kết = " what about my mom? she is a person who ....." như vậy sẽ hay hơn
Và nội dung của phần mẹ ko ổn. Bạn tập trung chủ yếu vào hobbies của mẹ phải ko? Nên nói những điều tốt của mẹ mà làm bạn ấn tượng. Ví dụ như her patience and kindness. She always stands beside me to comfort and breed me up when i was ill.....
Phần em: tốt hơn hết bạn nên nói về phẩm chất và thay bằng chơi vs con chó thì bạn có thể nói em bạn chơi j vs bạn trong lúc rảnh rỗi và từ đó bạn mới thấy em mình cute and playful
Phần bà: Lạy chúa, bà bạn stupid thật ah. đừng nói thế, nên nói là bà và bạn ko có same idea but I still love her because....
OK
sửa vậy thôi. chúc bạn viết tốt nha
 
Top Bottom