sửa writing

[LLunaa]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
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bạn nào sửa giúp mình đoạn văn này với:
Đề: write about the changes in your hometown.
My hometown has changed a lot compared to before. The first change is the roads. Ten year ago, the road here were dirt roads. It is very dusty. But now, it has been paved. The second change is that there are more modern building and houses than before. Ten years ago, the people in my hometown lived in small and very old houses. In addition, the service here has also changed. In the past, we would find it difficult to find a shop or a market when we went out. The hospital is also very far away. But now, it is very easy to find it along the road. I believe my hometown will change more, become more beautiful and more modern in the future.

 

[jehinguyen]

Theo mình là chữa một tí lỗi như thế này ^^
Đề: write about the changes in your hometown.
My hometown has changed a lot compared to before. The first change is the roads. Ten years ago, the roads here were dirty roads. It is very dusty. But now, it has been paved. The second change is that there are more modern buildings and houses than before. Ten years ago, the people in my hometown lived in small and very old houses. In addition, the service here has also changed. In the past, we would find it difficult to find a shop or a market when we went out. The hospital is also very far away. But now, it is very easy to find it along the road. I believe my hometown will change more, become more beautiful and more modern in the future.

 

[ankhongu]

bạn nào sửa giúp mình đoạn văn này với:
Đề: write about the changes in your hometown.
My hometown has changed a lot compared to before. The first change is the roads. Ten year ago, the road here were dirt roads. It is very dusty. But now, it has been paved. The second change is that there are more modern building and houses than before. Ten years ago, the people in my hometown lived in small and very old houses. In addition, the service here has also changed. In the past, we would find it difficult to find a shop or a market when we went out. The hospital is also very far away. But now, it is very easy to find it along the road. I believe my hometown will change more, become more beautiful and more modern in the future.

It was dusty chứ nhỉ ?

 

[LLunaa]

@jehinguyen góp ý thêm cho em về đoạn văn trên với ạ

 

[jehinguyen]

bạn nào sửa giúp mình đoạn văn này với:
Đề: write about the changes in your hometown.
But now, it has they have been paved.
But now, it is very easy to find it along the road.

Theo mình thì "But now" dùng 2 lần sẽ bị lặp nên "But now, they have been paved" có thể chuyển thành However, they have been paved now.
Bạn có thể dùng liên từ Moreover,... để nối tiếp ý khác vào phía sau các ý trên (...far away)(nếu có), ví dụ như là hồi xưa không có điện mà bây giờ có điện chẳng hạn.

 

[0913917301]

My hometown has changed a lot compared to before. The first changes is the roads. Ten year ago, the road here were dirty. But now, it has been paved. The second change is that there are more modern buildings and houses than before. Ten years ago, the people in my hometown lived in lack of facilities and very old houses. In addition, the service here has also changed. In the past, we would find it difficult to find a shop or a market when we went out and the hospital is also very far away. But now, it is easy to find it along the road. I believe my hometown will change more, become more beautiful and more modern in the future.

 

[Phạm Dương]

My hometown has changed a lot compared to before (Quê em ở đâu vậy? không có địa điểm, từ gợi ý thì người ta đọc xong bài em là quên luôn, chẳng nhớ gì nữa đâu). The first change is the roads (Diễn đạt). Ten years ago, the road here was dirt roads. It is very dusty (Nối với câu đằng trước). But now, it has been paved (Rải nhựa xong thì người ta được cái gì vậy em? Không có tác dụng thì rải làm gì cho tốn tiền tốn gạo vậy em?). The second change is that there are more modern building and houses than before (diễn đạt). Ten years ago (lặp từ), the people in my hometown lived in small and very old houses (câu trên vừa kêu "hơn trước" xong giờ toàn nhà nhỏ và lâu đời là sao???). In addition, the service here has also changed (diễn đạt). In the past, we would find it difficult to find a shop or a market when we went out (diễn đạt + tác dụng + hiện tại). The hospital is also very far away (diễn đạt + tác dụng + hiện tại - cơ sở vật chất, quy mô, lực lượng y tế) But now, it is very easy to find it along the road (Chắc bệnh viện cứ cách tầm 10 nhà là có 1 cái à em?). I believe my hometown will change more, become more beautiful and more modern in the future.