Please! Check my paragraph for me! :D

[wolf95]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

Thomas Edison was born on November, 2,1847 in Milan Town, Ohio, America. Because he was sick until he was 7 years old, he went to a local primary school near his home. But because of curiousness and not getting used to school rules, he was always scolded and call "stupid" the teacher of his class. Knowing that, his mother decided to teach him at home in stead of attending school like other children. Edison was so intelligent that he finished reading " Philosophy and Laboratory experiments" by Colin Bec when being only 9 years old. The book shows many types of experiments which attracted and made him habour the dream of scientific and inventional career. Unfortunately, he was deaf by an accident. To save money for helping his family, he had to sell newspapers, fruits and candies in the Titoluy to Huron Railway at the age of 12. In spite of his difficult living conditions, he tried to borrow books to study hard himself. Finally, a chance came to Edison, he was helped to be able to study Telegraph by the chairman of Sinkholaemn station. In 1863, he reveived a telegraph dilopma. On October, 28, 1868, he earned the first patent for inventing vote-counting machine. After that, he invented many other inventions such as media, record... and the most important invention is light buld which changed the world history. In all of his liè, he devoted over 1000 inventions and was arwarded 1093 inventing degree. Spite poorness, unhappy times and being deaf, he still overcame whatever hardship and worked extremly hard to make his dream come true. By the time of his death in 1931, many events, districts, places ... were named after him. He was honored as "King of the invention".



Hì hì! Mong mọi người kiểm tra bài viết này giùm tớ. Bài này tớ viết nhưng không biết có bị sai không! Thanks các bạn nhiều !>->->-:-*:-*:-*@};-@};-@};-@};-

 

[tranthuha93]

Thomas Edison was born on November, 2,1847 in Milan Town, Ohio, America. Because he was sick until he was 7 years old, he went to a local primary school near his home. But because of his curiousness and not getting used to school rules, he was always scolded and called "stupid" by the teacher of his class. Knowing that, his mother decided to teach him at home in stead of attending school like other children. Edison was so intelligent that he finished reading " Philosophy and Laboratory experiments" by Colin Bec when being only 9 years old. The book shows many types of experiments which attracted and made him habour the dream of scientific and inventional career. Unfortunately, he was deaf by an accident. To save money for helping his family, he had to sell newspapers, fruits and candies in the Titoluy to Huron Railway at the age of 12. In spite of his difficult living conditions, he tried to borrow books to study hard himself. Finally, a chance came to Edison, he was helped to be able to study Telegraph by the chairman of Sinkholaemn station. In 1863, he reveived a telegraph dilopma. On October, 28, 1868, he earned the first patent for inventing vote-counting machine. After that, he invented many other inventions such as media, record... and the most important invention is light buld which changed the world history. In all of his liè, he devoted over 1000 inventions and was arwarded 1093 inventing degree. Spite\Rightarrowin spite of/despite poorness, unhappy times and being deaf, he still overcame whatever hardship and worked extremly hard to make his dream come true. By the time of his death in 1931, many events, districts, places ... were named after him. He was honored as "King of the invention".

 

[shadkozi]

Thomas Edison was born on November, 2,1847 in Milan Town, Ohio, America. Because he was sick until he was 7 years old, he went to a local primary school near his home. But because of curiousness and not getting used to school rules, he was always scolded and called "stupid" by the teacher of his class. Knowing that, his mother decided to teach him at home in stead of attending school like other children. Edison was so intelligent that he finished reading " Philosophy and Laboratory experiments" by Colin Bec when he was only 9 years old. The book showed many types of experiments which attracted and made him habour the dream of scientific and inventional career. Unfortunately, he was deaf by an accident. To save money for helping his family, he had to sell newspapers, fruits and candies in the Titoluy to Huron Railway at the age of 12. In spite of his difficult living conditions, he tried to borrow books to study hard himself. Finally, a chance came to Edison, he was helped to be able to study Telegraph by the chairman of Sinkholaemn station. In 1863, he reveived a telegraph dilopma. On October, 28, 1868, he earned the first patent for inventing vote-counting machine. After that, he invented many other inventions such as media, record... and the most important invention is light buld which changed the world history. During his lifè, he devoted over 1000 inventions and was arwarded 1093 inventing degree.In Spite of poorness, unhappy times and being deaf, he still overcame whatever hardship and worked extremly hard to make his dream come true. By the time of his death in 1931, many events, districts, places ... were named after him. He was honored as "King of the invention".

 

[wolf95]

Sửa bài lần 2 và giúp mình thêm nhưng ý hay với!

The first time i started to learn to use Computer was 6 years ago. At first, i was worried because if i made any mistakes, my computer could be broken down. But my mother calmed me down and encouraged me to study step by step. She taught me the basic such as how to make a simple document with Word solfware, how to type well by practise playing keyboard's game and how to solve sudden errors ... Not only my mother but also my Computer teacher- Miss.Ban- at school taught me. She was active to instruct me to get used to controlling the mouse by games and drawing beautiful pictures. Next my mother installed Internet for me, so i learnt to access Internet for studying online. Àfter all, i became better at Computer than before , nevertheless, it was hard and time-consuming. Example is the i needed a long time to type fast and exactly now. But i really like Computer and i is a interesting subject, too. Finally, i understand that computer has helped me a lot and become an important part of my life.



Đoạn này còn nhiều lỗi và khô quá tớ mong các bạn đóng góp ý kiến cho mình nhé!

 

[tomcangxanh]

The first time i have started to learn to use Computer was 6 years ago. At first, i was worried because if i made some/ many any mistakes, my computer could be (break là vi, ko nên dùng bị động) broken down. But my mother calmed me down and encouraged me to study step by step. She taught me the basic such as how to make a simple document with Word solfware, how to type well by practise pratising playing keyboard's game and how to solve sudden errors ... Not only my mother but also my Computer teacher- Miss.Ban- at school taught me. She was active to instruct me to get used to controlling the mouse by games and drawing( N ko nên đi vs V tương ứng) beautiful pictures. Next dùng adv my mother installed Internet for me, so i learnt to access Internet for to studying online. Àfter all, i became better at Computer than before , nevertheless, it was hard and time-consuming. Example is the i needed a long time to type fast and exactly now. [dấu phẩy] But i really like Computer and i is a interesting subject, too.ko nên dùng too ở đây Finally, i understand that computer has helped me a lot and become an important part of my life.

ý khá. chị chỉ chỉnh ngữ pháp thôi. Good luck !