Fix the mistake

Tohru - san

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TH - THCS Nguyễn Khuyến

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minhthu2k5

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Hogwarts
how you going => how are you going?
we're gonna be talking about my home mình thấy câu này hơi kì, bạn đang dùng cấu trúc gì đấy? mà văn viết thì bạn đừng viết tắt nha
what does the word" home" mean
in the kitchen,you cook and eat food
i was afraid of ghost
when he arrived home after... mình nghĩ nên dùng hiện tại đơn vì diễn tả sự thường xuyên
delicious viết sai chính tả
i hope you guys will enjoy my video
 

Phạm Dương

Cựu Cố vấn tiếng Anh
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Hey guys, how are you going? I’m Hiếu and today, we’re gonna be talking about my home. Let’s go!
So, what is the word “home” mean? Home is the place where you and your family live together in a house, an apartment or another building. There are 6 family members. My mom, my dad, 2 sisters and my brother. Before I introduce you guys to my family, I’d like to introduce to you my house first. Let’s go!
First, let’s have a check on the living room. Living room is place in your house where you and your family get together, have some drink and talk together. Next, this is the kitchen where my mom often works. Kitchen is where you use to cook and eat the food which you cook or not. My family doesn’t eat in the kitchen, we often eat here, we put the food on the tray and eat with chopsticks. As you can see, this is my bedroom, you can laugh or whatever you want because I have teddy bears. I like the cute things so what? Here is my sister bedroom, my bedroom. Seem like you’re asking yourself why I have 2 bedrooms. Actually, this is my first bedroom. When I was a child, I didn’t want to sleep here because I afraid of ghost. So my mom let me sleep downstairs. And now I want to sleep upstairs because I want private space.
This is my mom’s garden. There are many kinds of plants and flowers up here. Oh, I forgot, here is the highest floor in my house and also a place for my mom to plant. Back here is where I and mom dry clothes. My mom nourishes dove up here to. There are 6 doves, each cave is a couple of doves. My mom nourishes them for my sister’s child birth. This is my sister and my brother’s house so I can’t show you guys see it. Well, that is all of my house, let’s go and see my family. Come on!
Here is my dad, he usually lies on the wooden sofa and watches TV. When he arrived home after a work-day, he lied on the sofa, drank tea and watched TV. He pays the school’s money for me.
And here is my mom, she’s the one whom I usually share with. She cooks the food for us and those are very delicious. When I have a test of the next day, she’ll cook my favourite foods. She usually gets rest on my bed after a cleaning day.
Here, is two members I can seem like friends of family and tell them some secrets which I don’t dare to tell mom. My sister and my brother. As I told you guys, here is a member who is about to born in this year. I’m going to be uncle soon. Do you see me too young to be an uncle?
And here is my sister, too. She and I almost every day to argue. She always gets angry with me although I don’t do anything wrong. Sometimes I don’t know what just happened when she argues with me. I just think, “What? What just happened? What did I do?” or something like that.
I think that is all I need to show you guys about my home. I hope you guys enjoy my video. See you in the next video. Bye!
 

Hạ Dương

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Can't talk
- Có một vài điểm mình cần làm rõ:
+ Mở bài bạn giới thiệu nói về nhà của mình, nhưng trong quá trình, những nơi như phòng khách, phòng ăn,... bạn chú thích lại dùng "you/your", nó không cần thiết, mình nghĩ sẽ thừa + dài dòng khi đó là sự thật hiển nhiên?!!!
+ Khi dùng cấu trúc "which, where,...", không dùng tobe thay vào đó là dấu phẩy.
- Một vài góp ý của mình, bạn tham khảo nhé! Nếu phù hợp thì thay đổi, không thì thôi:MIM24
"Home is the place which you and your family live together. There are 6 family members: My mom, my dad, 2 sisters, my brothernd me. Before I introduce you to my family, I’d like to introduce to you my house first. Let’s start!" (Phần giới thiệu thành viên, bạn có thể làm rõ younger/older sister/brother nhé)
"because I want to have a private space."
" When he arrives home after a work-day, he lies on the sofa, drinks tea and watches TV. He pays tuition fee for me." (Mình nghĩ dùng thì hiện tại đơn chứ nhỉ, miêu tả thói quen?)
"Before I introduce you guys to my family, I’d like to introduce to you my house first. Let’s start!" (thay bằng "start" để tránh lặp từ;))
 
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