English THCS Fix lỗi sai

Jennifer Lu

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30 Tháng mười hai 2020
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Dear Karl,
Hope you’re well,
Last week, you wrote a letter to ask me about whether or not to wear school uniforms when we
go to school. Actually, I thought about this question a lot because The idea that students should be allowed or should not be allowed to wear any kind of clothing to school or not remains a source of controversy. And finally, I think that I would agree with wearing uniforms when we go to school.
There are two primary reasons for my perspective.
Firstly, people should recognize that by wearing the uniform, students will learn about discipline and will know that wearing proper and formal clothing is a way to respect people. Children are also aware that they are at school and their duty is to focus on schoolwork not focus on clothes they wear. So, If schools let children decide to wear any type of clothing they want, some of them may wear clothes that don't fit the rules such as mini skirts, crop tops, ... . This can distract other students when they are studying and may lead to many other students imitating that unsuitable kind of fashion.
Besides, This also brings me to my second point. By letting students wear clothing freely, there might be a risk of discrimination. Strong evidence shows that many people get bullied for being different among the crowd. Wearing certain clothes that are different from others can make children being bullied. However, if all students wear school uniforms, there will be no differences between people from all walks of life.
Furthermore, by wearing uniforms, students are also showing their pride in the school where they study.
Although others believe that there are many benefits of wearing casual clothes. In my opinion, some schools require all students to wear school uniforms is totally the right thing and I completely agree with their decision.
Sincerely,
Phuong Uyen
Nhờ mọi người sửa lỗi sai giùm ạ:):):):)
 

jehinguyen

Cựu TMod Tiếng Anh
Thành viên
9 Tháng năm 2019
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THCS Xuân Diệu
Sau đây mình xin góp ý về một số lỗi ngữ pháp cũng như lỗi diễn đạt như thế này để giúp bài viết của bạn ngắn gọn và rõ ý hơn, bạn tham khảo nhé:

Dear Karl,
Hope you are doing (hạn chế viết tắt) well,
Last week, you wrote a letter to ask me whether we wear school uniforms when we go to school or not (ask sb whether S + V or not). Actually, I thought about this question a lot because the idea that students should be allowed to wear any kind of clothing to school or not (rút gọn lại tránh lặp) remains a source of controversy. In the end (more formal), I think that I would agree with wearing uniforms when we go to school for the following reasons.
Firstly, people should understand (recognise là nhận dạng được => không hợp nghĩa) that by wearing uniforms (nói chung, không xác định cụ thể), students will learn about discipline and know that wearing proper and formal clothes is a way to respect people. Children can also aware that they are at school and their duty is to focus on schoolwork, not the (rút gọn, tránh lặp) clothes they wear. So, if schools let children decide to wear any type of clothing they want, some of them may wear clothes that don't fit the rules such as mini skirts, crop tops,... . This can distract other students from their (distract sb from doing sth) studying and may lead to many other students' (sau đại từ xác định là (cụm) danh từ) imitating that unsuitable kind of fashion.
Besides, by letting students wear clothing freely, there might be a risk of discrimination, which brings me to my second point. There is strong evidence that many people get bullied for standing out from (stand out from the crowd: khác biệt) the crowd. Wearing certain clothes that are different from others can make children get (make sb Vbare) bullied. However, if all students wear school uniforms, there will be no difference among (giữa hai chủ thể thì between, giữa một nhóm người thì among) people from all walks of life.
Furthermore, by wearing uniforms, students are also showing their pride in the school where they study.
Although some people state that there are many benefits of wearing casual clothes, I firmly believe that some schools require all students to wear school uniforms is totally the right thing and I completely agree with their decision.
Sincerely,
Phuong Uyen

Nếu bạn còn thắc mắc cụ thể ở khúc nào thì hỏi lại mình nhé. Chúc bạn học tốt!
 
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