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Imnelly_13

Học sinh mới
Thành viên
16 Tháng năm 2020
1
0
1
24
Đà Nẵng
Đại học ngoại Ngữ
[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

Có ai sửa ngữ pháp bài này giúp e với ạ - Em cảm ơn nhìu ạ !
Teachers and students are invited to listen to the young bamboo radio broadcast program of Tran Van On branch to celebrate the founding of the Ho Chi Minh Youth Team (May 15, 1941-15, May 5, 2020). Dear teachers and friends!
First of all, on behalf of the whole Division, we would like to send our teachers and students the best and most sincere wishes!
Dear teachers and students, It has been 79 years since the establishment of the Ho Chi Minh City TNTP team, and the year 2020 officially marks that glorious history. This is an opportunity for each child, the team members to look back on the heroic history of Ho Chi Minh City's TNTP Team, and at the same time, an opportunity for them to show their role as good and good children, good children Uncle Ho, and do well 5 Uncle Ho taught, inherited and promoted the tradition of the TNTP Team, followed up the Union, contributing to building a richer and richer country.
For the past 79 years, the yellow pages of Team and the traditional aura of the Ho Chi Minh Pioneering Youth Team every day a day. The members of the Vietnam Youth and Children Division have constantly cultivated and trained, actively built the organization of the Team and contributed their small contribution to the cause of common revolution. During the past years, the movements and activities of the Team have always been associated with the cause of building socialism, associated with the goal of the rich people, the strong country, the fair, democratic and civilized society. The team organized age-appropriate educational activities on the principle of voluntariness, self-management, under the guidance of the brothers and sisters in charge, giving teenagers and young people to overcome difficulties to study and train well. , striving to become a good son, good student, good team member, Good boy Uncle Ho, tomorrow, he will become a new citizen, contributing to building a beautiful and rich Vietnam Fatherland.
In order to deserve that glorious tradition, our Tran Van On branch has joined hands with the union members to propagate and mobilize people to keep clean and sanitary to prevent the CoVid-19 pandemic. raging now, and guide the children to study and practice well during this time.
Our team promised to try our best to study and train hard to deserve to be a good and good son and beloved grandson of Uncle Ho!
The broadcast of young bamboo shoots of the Tran Van On branch is here to end. Sincerely thank the teachers and students for listening attentively!
Propagate, advocate to keep hygiene, support, volunteer, guide children to study during this time.
 

ahn___w

Học sinh gương mẫu
Thành viên
22 Tháng một 2020
1,156
4,288
416
Thanh Hóa
Love Sickgirls ❣️
Có ai sửa ngữ pháp bài này giúp e với ạ - Em cảm ơn nhìu ạ !
Teachers and students are invited to listen to the young bamboo radio broadcast program of Tran Van On branch to celebrate the founding of the Ho Chi Minh Youth Team (May 15, 1941-15, May 5, 2020). Dear teachers and friends!
First of all, on behalf of the whole Division, we would like to send our teachers and students the best and most sincere wishes!
Dear teachers and students, It has been 79 years since the establishment of the Ho Chi Minh City TNTP team, and the year 2020 officially marks that glorious history. This is an opportunity for each child, the team members to look back on the heroic history of Ho Chi Minh City's TNTP Team, and at the same time, an opportunity for them to show their role as good and good children, good children Uncle Ho, and do well 5 Uncle Ho taught, inherited and promoted the tradition of the TNTP Team, followed up the Union, contributing to building a richer and richer country.
For the past 79 years, the yellow pages of Team and the traditional aura of the Ho Chi Minh Pioneering Youth Team every day a day. The members of the Vietnam Youth and Children Division have constantly cultivated and trained, actively built the organization of the Team and contributed their small contribution to the cause of common revolution. During the past years, the movements and activities of the Team have always been associated with the cause of building socialism, associated with the goal of the rich people, the strong country, the fair, democratic and civilized society. The team organized age-appropriate educational activities on the principle of voluntariness, self-management, under the guidance of the brothers and sisters in charge, giving teenagers and young people to overcome difficulties to study and train well. , striving to become a good son, good student, good team member, Good boy Uncle Ho, tomorrow, he will become a new citizen, contributing to building a beautiful and rich Vietnam Fatherland.
In order to deserve that glorious tradition, our Tran Van On branch has joined hands with the union members to propagate and mobilize people to keep clean and sanitary to prevent the CoVid-19 pandemic. raging now, and guide the children to study and practice well during this time.
Our team promised to try our best to study and train hard to deserve to be a good and good son and beloved grandson of Uncle Ho!
The broadcast of young bamboo shoots of the Tran Van On branch is here to end. Sincerely thank the teachers and students for listening attentively!
Propagate, advocate to keep hygiene, support, volunteer, guide children to study during this time.
Teachers and students are invited to listen to the young bamboo radio broadcast program of Tran Van On branch to celebrate the founding of the Ho Chi Minh Youth Team (May 15, 1941-15, May 5, 2020). Dear teachers and friends!
First of all, on behalf of the whole Division, we would like to send our teachers and students the best and most sincere wishes!
Dear teachers and students, It has been 79 years since the establishment of the Ho Chi Minh City TNTP team, and the year 2020 officially marks that glorious history. This is an opportunity for each child, the team members to look back on the heroic history of Ho Chi Minh City's TNTP Team, and at the same time, an opportunity for them to show their role as good and good children, good children Uncle Ho, and do well 5 Uncle Ho taught, inherited and promoted the tradition of the TNTP Team, followed up the Union, contributing to building a richer and richer country.
For the past 79 years, the yellow pages of Team and the traditional aura of the Ho Chi Minh Pioneering Youth Team every day a day. The members of the Vietnam Youth and Children Division have constantly cultivated and trained, actively built the organization of the Team and contributed their small contribution to the cause of common revolution. During the past years, the movements and activities of the Team have always been associated with the cause of building socialism, associated with the goal of the rich people, the strong country, the fair, democratic and civilized society. The team organized age-appropriate educational activities on the principle of voluntariness, self-management, under the guidance of the brothers and sisters in charge, giving teenagers and young people to overcome difficulties to study and train well. , striving to become a good son, good student, good team member, Good boy Uncle Ho, tomorrow, he will become a new citizen, contributing to building a beautiful and rich Vietnam Fatherland.
In order to deserve that glorious tradition, our Tran Van On branch has joined hands with the union members to propagate and mobilize people to keep clean and sanitary to prevent the CoVid-19 pandemic. raging now, and guide the children to study and practice well during this time.
Our team promised to try our best to study and train hard to deserve to be a good and good son and beloved grandson of Uncle Ho!
The broadcast of young bamboo shoots of the Tran Van On branch is here to end. Sincerely thank the teachers and students for listening attentively!
Propagate, advocate to keep hygiene, support, volunteer, guide children to study during this time.
Sửa lại:
and => ,and
common
=> the common
In order to từ này đúng nhưng có thể thay bằng từ to
 

Bella Dodo

Cựu Mod Tiếng Anh
Thành viên
2 Tháng mười một 2019
336
932
136
Hà Nội
Diễn Đàn Học Mãi
Bạn tham khảo,
Mặc dù Bella thấy bạn nhờ sửa ngữ pháp những Bella thích bài viết của bạn và mong rằng đôi lời nhận xét là một thính giả có thể giúp bài bạn tốt hơn.
Bella thích cách bạn mở đầu và bắt đầu dẫn dắt người nghe nhưng thật sự hơi giật mình khi thấy bạn nói về dịch bệnh. Bạn nên nói đến dịch bệnh từ phần mở bài, như vậy sẽ khiến bài đọc của bạn vào trọng tâm cũng như quan trọng, lôi cuốn người nghe hơn.

Teachers and students are invited to listen to the young bamboo radio broadcast program of Tran Van On branch to celebrate the founding of the Ho Chi Minh Youth Team (May 15, 1941-15, May 5, 2020).
Dear teachers and friends!
First of all, on behalf of the whole Division, we would like to send our teachers and students the best and most sincere wishes!
Dear teachers and students, It has been 79 years since the establishment of the Ho Chi Minh City TNTP team, and the year 2020 officially marks that glorious history Theo Bella, bạn nên nói rõ thêm. What historical event that is glorious? Bạn nên nhấn mạnh 2020 là năm kỉ niệm. This is an opportunity for each child, the team members Có thể bạn nên gộp "for each team member" như vậy sẽ rõ ràng, đặc biệt đây là bài speech, chúng ta muốn người nghe nhận được thông tin một cách hiệu quả nhất. to look back on (at) the heroic history of Ho Chi Minh City's TNTP Team, and at the same time, an opportunity for them to show their roles as good and good children, good children Uncle Ho, đoạn này mình thấy hơi rối. Bạn có thể viết good children of Uncle Ho or Uncle Ho's good children. and do well 5 Uncle Ho taught, We want to see they follow 5 things (ideas, ways) Uncle Ho taught. This demonstrates that they have inherited and can promoted the tradition of the TNTP Team, followed up the Union, contributing to building a richer and (richer) stronger country.
For the past 79 years, the yellow pages of Team Khi đọc đoạn mở đầu của bạn, Bella thấy bài đọc này sẽ được đọc cho thầy cô và các bạn trong và không trong TNTP team. Như vậy, sẽ có bạn không hiểu the yellow pages. Bella nghĩ bạn nên giới thiệu sơ qua, giúp bài đọc bạn thêm phần phong phú và đưa thêm thông tin cho nghười nghe. and the traditional aura of the Ho Chi Minh Pioneering Youth Team every day a day Bella chưa thấy động từ chính của câu như vậy, câu chưa có đầy đủ nghĩa và chưa đúng ngữ pháp. The members of the Vietnam Youth and Children Division have constantly cultivated and trained, actively built the organization of the Team and contributed their small contribution (works) to the cause of common revolution. During the past years, the movements and activities of the Team have always been associated (refered, followed) with the cause of building socialism, associated with the goal of the rich people, the strong country, the fair, democratic and civilized society. The team organized age-appropriate educational activities on the principle of voluntariness, self-management, under the guidance of the brothers and sisters in charge, giving teenagers and young people to overcome difficulties to study and train well, striving to become a good son, good student, good team member, Good boy of Uncle Ho, tomorrow, he will become a new citizen, contributing to building a beautiful and rich Vietnam Fatherland.
In order to deserve that glorious tradition, our Tran Van On branch has joined hands with the union members to propagate and mobilize people to keep clean and sanitary to prevent the CoVid-19 pandemic. raging now, and guide the children to study and practice well during this time.
Our team promised to try our best to study and train hard to deserve to be a good and good son and beloved grandson of Uncle Ho! being Uncle Ho's good sons, and grandsons.
The broadcast of young bamboo shoots of the Tran Van On branch is here to an end. We sincerely thank the teachers and students for listening attentively!
Propagate, advocate to keep hygiene, support, volunteer, guide children to study during this time.

Bella góp ý hơi nhiều, mong rằng mình có thể giúp được bạn phần nào.
Bella
 
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Sakuya Shirase

Học sinh mới
Thành viên
3 Tháng tư 2020
7
11
6
Hà Nội
MEL Forum
Bài này anh lấy theo bài sửa của @Bella Dodo (xl xíu, anh hơi lười), anh chỉ sửa chỗ nào thừa và một vài lỗi vặt nhỏ cho nó gọn hơn :)
Teachers and students are invited to listen to the young bamboo radio broadcast program of Tran Van On branch to celebrate the founding of the Ho Chi Minh Youth Team (May 15, 1941-15, May 5, 2020).
Dear teachers and friends!
First of all, on behalf of the whole Division, we would like to send our teachers and students the best and most sincere wishes!
Dear teachers and students, It has been 79 years since the establishment of the Ho Chi Minh City TNTP team, and the year 2020 officially marks that glorious history. What historical event is glorious? This is an opportunity for each child, the team members to look back on (at) the heroic history of Ho Chi Minh City's TNTP Team, and at the same time, an opportunity for them to show their roles as good and good children, good children Uncle Ho and do well 5 Uncle Ho taught, We want to see they follow 5 things (ideas, ways) Uncle Ho taught. This demonstrates that they have inherited and can promote the tradition of the TNTP Team, followed up by the Union, contributing to building a richer and (richer) stronger country.
For the past 79 years, the yellow pages of Team and the traditional aura of the Ho Chi Minh Pioneering Youth Team every day a day. The members of the Vietnam Youth and Children Division have constantly cultivated and trained, actively built the organization of the Team, and contributed their small contribution (works) to the cause of the common revolution. During the past years, the movements and activities of the Team have always been associated (referred, followed) with the cause of building socialism, associated with the goal of the rich people, the strong country, the fair, democratic and civilized society. The team organized age-appropriate educational activities on the principle of voluntariness, self-management, under the guidance of the brothers and sisters in charge, giving teenagers and young people to overcome difficulties to study and train well, striving to become a good son, good student, good team member, Good boy of Uncle Ho, tomorrow, he will become a new citizen, contributing to building a beautiful and rich Vietnam Fatherland.
To deserve that glorious tradition, our Tran Van On branch has joined hands with the union members to propagate and mobilize people to keep clean and sanitary to prevent the CoVid-19 pandemic. raging now, and guide the children to study and practice well during this time.
Our team promised to try our best to study and train hard to deserve to be a good and good son and beloved grandson of Uncle Ho! being Uncle Ho's good sons, and grandsons.
The broadcast of young bamboo shoots of the Tran Van On branch is here to an end. We sincerely thank the teachers and students for listening attentively!
Propagate, advocate to keep hygiene, support, volunteer, guide children to study during this time
 
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