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[npan_184]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

What should you do to stay healthy:
Health is very important with our life. Many people said: "Have a good health is having something". If you haven't got a good health, you will not have perfect happiness in family, life and career. So we should stay healthy by many different ways:
- Firsrtly, we should do morning exercises. It will make us keep fit and stay healthy.
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food. It will make us obesity and put on weight.
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water about 1l to 2l perday.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really important in our life. We should stay healthy and keep fit.

 

[Pyrit]

What should you do to stay healthy:
Health is very important with our life. Many people said: "Have a good health is having something". If you haven't got a good health, you will not have perfect happiness in family, life and career. So we should stay healthy by many different ways:
- Firsrtly, we should do morning exercises. It will make us keep fit and stay healthy.
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food. It will make us obesity and put on weight.
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water about 1l to 2l perday.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really important in our life. We should stay healthy and keep fit.

Người thường nói câu "Có sức khỏe là có tất cả" chứ nhỉ? Nên phải là "Have a good health is having everything"

 

[ahn___w]

What should you do to stay healthy:
Health is very important with our life. Many people said: "Have a good health is having something". If you haven't got a good health, you will not have perfect happiness in family, life and career. So we should stay healthy by many different ways:
- Firsrtly, we should do morning exercises. It will make us keep fit and stay healthy.
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food. It will make us obesity and put on weight.
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water about 1l to 2l perday.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really important in our life. We should stay healthy and keep fit.

Mình nghĩ câu đầu bạn cũng có thể sửa thành: "Health plays an important part in our life and it is necessary to stay healthy"
thì sẽ hay hơn đấy!!

 

[jehinguyen]

Mình có vài ý kiến như thế này ^^ Chúc bạn học tốt.
Health is very important with => to/ in our life. Many people said: "Have a good health is having something => everything". If you haven't got => don't [cho gọn hơn] a good health, you will not have perfect happiness in your family, life and career. So => Therefore, we should stay healthy by => in many different ways:
- Firsrtly, we should do morning exercises regularly. It will make => help us/ enable us to keep fit and stay healthy => in shape [tránh lặp từ ].
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food as it is one of the main causes of obesity and weight gain.
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water about 1l to 2l per day.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really => very important in our life so we should do our best to take care of our health. [tránh lặp từ/câu]

 

[Minh Tín]

What should you do to stay healthy:
Health is very important with our life. Many people said: "Have good health is having something". If you haven't got good health, you will not have perfect happiness in family, life and career. So we should stay healthy by many different ways:
- Firsrtly, we should do morning exercises. It will make us keep fit and stay healthy.
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food. It will make us obesity and put on weight.
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water about 1l to 2l perday.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really important in our life. We should stay healthy and keep fit.

Lưu ý: Ngôi trọng đoạn văn nên là ngôi thứ ba, hoặc là xưng "we" để tránh giọng ép buộc.
Từ in đậm là từ đã sửa.
Health is very important in our life. Many people said: "Good health means everything.". If we do not have good health, we will not have perfect happiness in our family, life and career. Therefore, we should stay healthy in many different ways:
- Firstly, we should do morning exercises. It will help us keep fit and stay healthy.
- Secondly, we shouldn't eat too much junk food. It will make us obese and put on weight. (put on weight bị thừa nghĩa)
- Thirdly, we should drink enough water from about 1 liter to 2 liters per day.
- Finally, we should brush our teeth after meals and before going to bed.
In short, health is really important in our life (viết lại câu) health plays an important part in our life. Therefore, we should stay healthy and keep fit.

Giải thích:

Having good health is having everything.
-> Câu này dài, không súc tích và cũng không hay. Bạn nên viết gọn lại.


Khi viết 1 đoạn văn như thế này hoặc thuyết trình, bạn nên viết theo formal (trang trọng), tránh viết theo informal (không trang trọng)
Have là formal. Have got thường dùng trong informal.

Therefore:
Khi bạn muốn liên kết hai câu mang ý nghĩa nhân quả, bạn phải dùng therefore trước dấu chấm câu nguyên nhân.
(Thật ra câu này cũng dùng so được, nhưng bỏ dấu chấm đi và viết chữ "So" thường)
Vd: Tôi thi rớt vì tôi không chăm.
I'm not hard-working, so I fail the exam.
I'm not hard-working. Therefore, I fail the exam.

Firstly: Sai chính tả.

Bạn nên nhớ: make somebody do something: sai khiến ai làm gì.
help somebody do something: giúp ai làm gì.
Việc tập thể dục không phải là thứ bắt mình khỏe mạnh, mà là giúp mình khỏe mạnh
P/s: Hoặc cách khác là nó hợp nghĩa hơn.