English THCS Write an email

hientas · 9 Tháng bảy 2021

Các bạn chữa dùm mình nhé. Mình cảm ơnn

Dear Sam,
How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last email. I am glad to hear that you want to draw my house.
In answer your first question, of course that you can visit my house and do your draw test. Ithink this Sunday morning is a good idea to you come to my house.
Second, I think I love my beautiful garden in my house the most. There are many beautiful flowers like roses, orchids, sunflowers and lilies in my garden. And I get to listen to birds and see the bees busy in the oregano, salvia, and mint. I suppose that you will feel satisfied as soon as you get here.
Third, there are many objects in my house, but the one that I love the most is a painting given to me by my brother. It took my brother a lot of time to draw this picture. It is a picture painted with watercolors. On it are pictures of me and my brother. Both of us are laughing very happily. I put the painting at the study desk in my room. When you come to my house I will so it.
I look forward to seeing you this Sunday morning.
Best regards,
Chloe

Diệp Hạ Bạch · 9 Tháng bảy 2021

Dear Sam,
How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last email. I am glad to hear that you want to draw my house and I want to tell you about some things in this letter
In answer your => to your first question, of course that you can visit my house and do your draw test. I think this Sunday morning is a good idea to => for you come => to come to my house.
Second, I think I love my beautiful garden in my house the most. There are many beautiful flowers like roses, orchids, sunflowers and lilies in my garden. And I get to listen to birds and see the bees busy in the oregano, salvia, and mint. I suppose that you will feel satisfied as soon as you get here.
Third, there are many objects in my house, but the one that I love the most is a painting given to me by my brother. It took my brother a lot of time to draw this picture. It is a picture painted with watercolors. On it are pictures of me and my brother. Both of us are laughing very happily. I put the painting at the study desk in my room. When you come to my house I will so => do it.
I look forward to seeing you this Sunday morning.
Best regards,
Chloe
Đây là phần góp ý của em ạ , anh/chị tham khảo
Có sai sót mong giúp đỡ ạ

Nguyễn Linh_2006 · 9 Tháng bảy 2021

Diệp Hạ Bạch said:
Thank you for your last email. I am glad to hear that you want to draw my house and I want to tell you about some things in this letter

some things --> something
___________
On it are pictures of me and my brother.

Câu này chị thấy không hợp lí mấy? Em có thể giải thích một chút cho chị được không?

minhtam8a2@gmail.com · 9 Tháng bảy 2021

hientas said:
Các bạn chữa dùm mình nhé. Mình cảm ơnn

Dear Sam,
How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last email. I am glad to hear that you want to draw my house.
In answer your first question, of course that you can visit my house and do your draw test. Ithink this Sunday morning is a good idea to you come to my house.
Second, I think I love my beautiful garden in my house the most. There are many beautiful flowers like roses, orchids, sunflowers and lilies in my garden. And I get to listen to birds and see the bees busy in the oregano, salvia, and mint. I suppose that you will feel satisfied as soon as you get here.
Third, there are many objects in my house, but the one that I love the most is a painting given to me by my brother. It took my brother a lot of time to draw this picture. It is a picture painted with watercolors. On it are pictures of me and my brother. Both of us are laughing very happily. I put the painting at the study desk in my room. When you come to my house I will so it.
I look forward to seeing you this Sunday morning.
Best regards,
Chloe

Bài này gặp khá nhiều vấn đề ở chỗ như sau:
-Thứ nhất là về cách sử dụng câu còn lúng túng, cần sử dụng câu bị động nhiều hơn ở đoạn miêu tả bức tranh để nhấn mạnh đc hình ảnh của nó

-Thứ hai, về cách dùng từ gây khó hiểu cho người đọc và chưa mang được tính học thuật hay thân mật cao, vì những từ như Second, third, mặc dù là đúng nhưng để không gây khó hiểu khó hiểu cho người đọc cần dùng những conjunction (liên từ) để tạo tính mạch lạc và khi đọc người đọc dễ cảm nhận được điều mà bạn muốn nói đến

Dear Sam,
How are you? I hope everything is going well. Thank you for your last email. I am glad to hear that you want to draw my house.
In answer your => In answer to your first question, of course that you can visit my house and do your draw test. I think this Sunday morning is a good idea to=> for you come=> to come to my house.
Second=>Keeping up with the next question , I think I love my beautiful garden in my house the most. There are many beautiful flowers like roses, orchids, sunflowers and lilies in my garden. And I=> I also get to listen to birds and see the bees busy=>busy bees in the oregano, salvia, and mint. I suppose that you will feel satisfied as soon as you get here.
Third =>And finally ,I want to tell you that there are also many objects in my house, but the one that I love the most is a painting given to me by my brother.It took my brother a lot of time to draw this picture. It is a picture painted with water colors. On it are pictures of me and my brother. Both of us are laughing very happily.=>My brother took a lot of time to draw the picture of us laughing very happily . I put the painting at the study desk in my room. When you come to my house I will so it=> show you
I look forward to seeing you this Sunday morning.
Best regards,
Chloe
Có gì chưa hiểu thì hỏi bạn nhé!

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Tìm kiếm

English THCS Write an email

hientas

Học sinh

Diệp Hạ Bạch

Cựu TMod Anh

Nguyễn Linh_2006

Cựu Mod Hóa

minhtam8a2@gmail.com

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