English THCS writing

Hoang Anh Tus said:

Các anh chị có thể giúp em phần writing này được không ạ ? what are skills fore teenagers to reduce stress and pressure (em không nghĩ ra cách viết được ) mong các anh chị có thể làm bài mẫu.Mong các anh chị giúp em

Bấm để xem đầy đủ nội dung ...

Theo chị thì cách để giảm áp lực thì:
- Nên tạo lập cho bản thân mình những thói quen lành mạnh
- không thức quá khuya vì thức khuya sẽ làm mình dễ stress thay vào đó thì dậy sớm để học vào buổi sáng
- Dành thời gian để đọc sách thay vì chỉ học và học...

Em có thể tham khảo 1 bài viết ở link này: https://diendan.hocmai.vn/threads/stress-problem-essay.619168/#post-3117550
Sau đó hãy tự viết một bài cho mình, rồi mọi người sẽ góp ý cho em

Xin chào, cho mình góp ý chung với nhé ^^
Mình thấy đọc qua, bạn diễn đạt và expand một topic sentence khá tốt, cơ mà nếu bạn không chỉnh, cũng như thêm ý, bạn sẽ đi ngược đề bài. Mình thấy đề bài của bạn là nêu cách giúp chúng ta giảm stress mà mình thấy bạn có rất nhiều câu mô tả nguyên nhân gây ra stress ^^
E1:
From adults to teens to children, everyone has stress in everyday life. Adults have the stress of a job, stress caring for families, and stress paying bills. Children at a younger age also face stress when parent's fight, divorce, or are not capable to learn as rapidly as other kids. Teens also face a lot of stress. Bạn mở đề bài với thứ tự người lớn, tên, trẻ con thì khi bạn expand ra, cũng nên theo thứ tự đó, người đọc sẽ dễ dàng nắm bắt hơn Teenagers often have a harder time dealing with stresses because they are at an age when it seems not appropriate, or not cool, to ask adults for help, emotions and hormones are out of control, and sometimes they just don't understand that stress causes it. Sports, school, and parents are the three main causes for stress to who, bạn phải viết specific vì bạn muốn các đoạn văn dưới xoay quanh chủ đề này

The first major cause for stress is school. Test taking, trying to achieve excellent grades, starting a new school, trying to fit in, those can cause stress at school, stress cannot be always terrible, some will cause pressure that will cause one to work harder. But mainly stress leads to headaches, lack of concentration, forgetfulness, or stomachaches. I understand this past couple weeks I have undertaken more stress than I ever have felt before. I had these school comp papers due, Seneys huge test coming up, and semester tests in general; this made me feel large amounts of stress overwhelmed. The further students find themselves in school, the extra stress they feel over trying to search out the perfect college and deciding what to do with their lives, I know next year college will only cause additional stress for myself and family dealing with financial aid. Again school is a major source for stress.

A second stress symptom are the from sports. Winning or achieving my goal is the greatest accomplishment in the world, when students participate in school sports, feeling stress from coaches, teammates, and parents are common in sports. Coaches want solid work and constant dedication to that specific sport. This causes an enormous stress considering I participate in four sports wit

E2: I think teenagers are as stressed as adults because of many reasons related mainly to school, friends and family.
In fact, doing well at school involves a lot of pressure, because they have to complete school work, projects and reports and study hard for exams.
Then, there is also the stress of having a social life and being accepted by their peers in popular groups in addition to the physical stress which result from some emotional and physical changes which can leave adolescent confused and stressed.
finally, we can mention also the stress that comes from family problems and sibling rivalry.
To sum up, we can say that a lot of reasons can led teenagers to stress, which can provoke violent reactions, depression and health problems
Mình thấy phần đầu bạn viết khác với phần sau. Phần đầu về general rồi phần sau giống như kinh nghiệm của bạn. Bạn chọn một thôi ví dụ chọn general thì không chọn bản thân nữa. Giống như bạn chọn chủ ngữ là tôi, xong chuyển sang mình, như thế bài văn sẽ hơi rối

Bản thân mình thấy 2 bài của bạn chập vào nhau mới thành một bài hoàn chỉnh, có mở đầu, có thân bài, có kết luận ^^
Bella

E1: From adults to teens to children (sắp xếp lại thứ tự), everyone has stress in everyday life. Adults have the pressure of a job, stress caring for families, and stress paying bills. Children at a younger age also face stress when a parent's fight, divorce, or are not capable of learning as rapidly as other kids. Teens also face a lot of stress. Teenagers often have a harder time dealing with stresses because they are at an age when it seems not appropriate, or not cool, to ask adults for help, emotions and hormones are out of control, and sometimes they just don't understand stress causes it. Sports, school, and parents are the three leading causes of stress.
The first significant cause of stress is school. Test taking, trying to achieve excellent grades, starting a new school, trying to fit in, those can cause stress at school, stress cannot always be terrible, some will create pressure that will cause one to work harder. But mainly, stress leads to headaches, lack of concentration, forgetfulness, or stomachaches. I understand this past couple week I have undertaken more stress than I ever have felt before. I had these school comp papers due, Seney's colossal test coming up, and semester tests in general; this made me feel tremendous amounts of stress. The further students find themselves in school, the extra stress they feel over trying to search out the perfect college and deciding what to do with their lives, I know next year college will only cause additional stress for myself and family dealing with financial aid (câu này quá dài, quá nhiều ý, khiến người đọc khó hiểu). Again school is a significant source of stress.
A second stress symptom is sports. Winning or achieving my goal is the greatest accomplishment in the world, when students participate in school sports, feeling stress from coaches, teammates, and parents are common in sports. Coaches want solid work and constant dedication to that specific sport. This causes enormous pressure considering I participate in four sports wit.
E2: I think teenagers are as stressed as adults because of many reasons related mainly to school, friends and family.
In fact, doing well at school involves a lot of pressure, because they have to complete schoolwork, projects and reports and study hard for exams.
Then, there is also the stress of having a social life and being accepted by their peers in popular groups in addition to the physical stress which results from some emotional and physical changes which can leave adolescent confused and stressed.
Finally, we can also mention the stress that comes from family problems and sibling rivalry.
=> Em đang lạc đề vào vì sao mn lại bị stress chứ không phải đang nêu cachs giải quyết.
To sum up, we can say that a lot of reasons can lead teenagers to stress, which can provoke violent reactions, depression and health problems