Sửa văn

[Phuongg Ahn]

[TẶNG BẠN] TRỌN BỘ Bí kíp học tốt 08 môn
Chắc suất Đại học top - Giữ chỗ ngay!!

ĐĂNG BÀI NGAY để cùng trao đổi với các thành viên siêu nhiệt tình & dễ thương trên diễn đàn.

đề bài :Viết 1đoạn văn ngắn khoảng 60 từ về các hoạt động của em vào ngày hôm qua!
em đã viết như này mn xem em có sai ở đâu ko và sửa giúp em vs ạ em cảm ơn nhiều!!!!

yesterday, i got up at half past five. then i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i went to school at half past six. i studied Math, English, Art, music and history. i was read a book when time for recess. my class finished at half past eleven. i went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i relax 2 hour, i did my homework at half past two , i played badminton at a quarter past four. i took a shower at six o'clock. then i cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten

 

[Junery N]

yesterday, i got up at half past five. then i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i went to school at half past six. i studied Math, English, Art, music and history. i was read a book when time for recess. my class finished at half past eleven. i went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i relax ( thêm "ed" nhé ) 2 hour ( thêm "s" nhé ), i did my homework at half past two , i played badminton at a quarter past four. i took a shower at six o'clock. then i cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten

 

[anbinhf]

đề bài :Viết 1đoạn văn ngắn khoảng 60 từ về các hoạt động của em vào ngày hôm qua!
em đã viết như này mn xem em có sai ở đâu ko và sửa giúp em vs ạ em cảm ơn nhiều!!!!

yesterday, i got up at half past five. then i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i went to school at half past six. i studied Math, English, Art, music and history. i was read a book when time for recess. my class finished at half past eleven. i went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i relax 2 hour, i did my homework at half past two , i played badminton at a quarter past four. i took a shower at six o'clock. then i cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten

Yesterday, I got up at half-past five. Then I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast. I went to school at half-past six. I studied Math, English, Art, music, and history. I was reading a book when time for recess. My class finished at half-past eleven. I went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve. Then I relaxed for 2 hours, I did my homework at half-past two, I played badminton at a quarter past four. I took a shower at six o'clock. Then I cooked for dinner in my kitchen. I had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half-past nine. I brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten
viết hao "I" em nhé
sau dấu chấm, đầu câu phải viết hoa nha

 

[ღ๖ۣۜPɦυσηɠℓĭηɦღ]

yesterday, I got up at half-past five. then I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast, I went to school at half-past six. I studied Math, English, Art, music and history. I was read a book when the time for recess. my class finished at half-past eleven. I went home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then I relax for 2 hours, I did my homework at half-past two, I played badminton at a quarter past four. I took a shower at six o'clock. then I cooked for dinner in my kitchen. I had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half-past nine. I brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten
---- Check lại bạn nhé,ngữ pháp tam ổn nhưng viết hơi cẩu thả -------

 

[ahn___w]

đề bài :Viết 1đoạn văn ngắn khoảng 60 từ về các hoạt động của em vào ngày hôm qua!
em đã viết như này mn xem em có sai ở đâu ko và sửa giúp em vs ạ em cảm ơn nhiều!!!!

yesterday, i got up at half past five. then i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i went to school at half past six. i studied Math, English, Art, music and history. i was read a book when time for recess. my class finished at half past eleven. i went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i relax 2 hour, i did my homework at half past two , i played badminton at a quarter past four. i took a shower at six o'clock. then i cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten

yesterday,(đầu câu viết hoa "Yesterday) i (I) got up at half past five. Then i (I) brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i (I) went to school at half past six. i (I) studied Math (Maths), English, Art, music (Music) and history (History). i (I) was read a book when time (the time) for recess. my (My) class finished at half past eleven. i (I) went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i (I) relax 2 hour (hours), i (I) did my homework at half past two , i (I) played badminton at a quarter past four. i (I) took a shower at six o'clock. then i (i) cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i (I) had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math (Maths) and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i (I) brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten.

 

[God of dragon]

yesterday,(đầu câu viết hoa "Yesterday) i (I) got up at half past five. Then i (I) brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i (I) went to school at half past six. i (I) studied Math (Maths), English, Art, music (Music) and history (History). i (I) was read a book when time (the time) for recess. my (My) class finished at half past eleven. i (I) went to home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve.Then i (I) relax 2 hour (hours), i (I) did my homework at half past two , i (I) played badminton at a quarter past four. i (I) took a shower at six o'clock. then i (i) cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i (I) had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math (Maths) and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i (I) brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten.

Còn nữa nè:

was read

was reading

went to home

went home thôi, hoặc là went back home from school

relax

relaxed

 

[Minh Tín]

đề bài :Viết 1đoạn văn ngắn khoảng 60 từ về các hoạt động của em vào ngày hôm qua!
em đã viết như này mn xem em có sai ở đâu ko và sửa giúp em vs ạ em cảm ơn nhiều!!!!

1. Yesterday, i got up at half past five. then i brushed my teeth and washed my face. I had breakfast , i went to school at half past six. i studied Math,
2. English, Art, music and history. i was read a book when time for recess. my class finished at half past eleven. i went to home and had lunch at a
3. quarter past twelve.Then i relax 2 hour, i did my homework at half past two , i played badminton at a quarter past four. i took a shower at six o'clock.
4. then i cooked for dinner in my kitchen. i had dinner at seven o'clock. I learned Math and Chemistry at eight o'clock and finished at half past nine . i
5. brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten.
Mình để line cho tiện nhé.
- Đầu câu viết hoa: Yesterday.
- Đầu 1 câu cũng viết hoa.
- Bạn chú ý xưng tôi là "I" viết in hoa nhé.
Line 1: "...I had breakfast, I went to..." Hai vế câu được ngăn cách bởi dấu phẩy, có cùng chủ ngữ, không có liên từ là sai ngữ pháp nhé.
-> "... I had breakfast and went to..."
Line 2: Các môn học bạn chú ý ghi hoa nhé: Math, English, Art, Music and History.
Line 2: "... I was read a book..."
Thứ nhất, quá khứ tiếp diễn thì read thành reading nhé.
Thứ hai, quan trọng hơn, kể lại 1 diễn biến trong quá khứ và kết thúc tại quá khứ, có thời gian (time for recess) thì bạn dùng quá khứ đơn nhé.
"When it was time for recess" diễn đạt thừa từ. Súc tích hơn: "at recess"
Nêu như bạn nói "I was read a book" (bị động) thì nên kèm theo ai làm (by....) nhé (vì mọi người đọc sách cho tôi nghe có vẻ không ổn lắm.
Sửa lại. " I read a book at recess."
Line 2: "... went to home..." Dùng go home là không được kèm theo giới từ bạn nhé. Bỏ to đi.
Line 3: "...I relax 2 hour..."
- Hành động quá khứ: relax -> relaxed.
- Diễn tả thời gian kéo dài trong quá khứ: Dùng for: Relax for 2 hours.
- "Hour" là số đếm được: hour -> hours.
- Có phải ý bạn là ngủ trưa không? Nếu vậy thì dùng: take a nap.
Line 4: "... I cooked for dinner..."
Ta có: cook dinner là không có giới từ ở giữa.
Bỏ for.

Nhận xét chung:
- Bạn bị lặp đại từ "I" quá. Bạn chú ý viết ít câu đơn lại nhé. (Sử dụng and, but, so,...)
- Bạn dùng trạng từ chỉ giờ quá nhiều, bạn nên viết lại cho hay nhé.
Vd: Thay vì:
I go home. I have lunch.
-> I go home and have lunch.
- Bạn kể 1 chuỗi sự kiện mà không có những từ ngữ thể hiện thời gian, nơi chốn, chia những hoạt động đó ra các giai đoạn:
Sắp xếp ý:
- Đầu tiên, tôi chuẩn bị đi học.
- Sau đó, tôi học ở trường.
- Sau khi học ở trường xong, tôi về nhà ăn cơm.
- Buổi chiều, tôi ôn bài, chơi cầu lông và chuẩn bị cho bữa tối.
- Buối tối, tôi ôn bài và đi ngủ.

Đoạn văn mẫu (theo ý của bạn)"
Yesterday, I got up at half-past five. Then I brushed my teeth and washed my face. After that, I had breakfast and went to school at half-past six. At school, I studied Math, English, Art, Music, and History. At recess, I read a book. After my class finished at half-past eleven, I went home and had lunch at a quarter past twelve. I then took a nap for 2 hours. In the afternoon, I did my homework at half-past two. After finishing my homework, I played badminton at a quarter past four. After playing for one and a half hours, I took a shower. Then, I cooked for dinner in my kitchen. and had dinner at seven o'clock. In the evening, I learned Math and Chemistry for 2 hours. I then brushed my teeth and went to bed at a quarter to ten.