Please introduce yourself

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Introduce myself
Hello everyone! My name's Quang. And now, I am going to introduce myself to you
I come from QT province. My birtday is September.30 and now I'm 21 years old. My constellation is Libra. I study in Ha Noi University of Mining and Geology. My major is Geology.
I'm going to introduce my family.There are six peoples in my family. My father, my mother, my old sister, my young brother, my young sister and I.
My parents are famer. My old sister is 23 years old. Her name's V . She has just graduated Ha Noi Law University. My young brother is 19 years old.His name's C. He studied at the same university with me. Now, we live in a small flat near school in the HN capital.
And my young sister is 16 years old. She live in QT with my parents. Her name's N. She is a student at QT town high school.
In my freetime , I playing game with my friends, listenning to music and reading book.
English is an international language. It's very important.
After my university graduation, I want to work for a large company and maybe my job will requires communication with foreigners. But my english is very bad so I want to improve it.
I think English is a language difficult to learn but I don't give up
. I'm going to study english hard.

 

[katyperry_nhat]

Introducing myself
Hello everyone! My name's Quang. I'm 21 years oldI'm going to introduce myself to you (ko nên có phần này)
I come from QT province ( ko cần province thì họ vẫn hiểu). My birtday is on ( thêm giới từ vào) September.30 and now I'm 21 years old . My constellation is Libra. I'm studying at Ha Noi University of Mining and Geology. (Nếu đang học ĐH thì thêm -ing)My major is Geology.
I'm going to introduce my family (nên bỏ phần này, đổi thành And my family).There are six peoples(!? People đã là số nhiều rồi mà) in my family. My father, my mother, my old(elder/older nha) sister, my youngest(thêm -est hoặc -er) brother, my young sister and I. (bro, sis cái nào nhỏ hơn thì thêm -est)
My parents are famer(thêm r vào) . My old sister is 23 years old. Her name's V . She has just graduated Ha Noi Law University. My young brother is 19 years old.His name's C. He studied at the same university with me. Now, we live in a small flat near school in the HN capital (HN thôi nhé).
And my young sister is 16 years old. She live in QT with my parents. Her name's N. She is a student at QT town high school. ( đổi thành studying at)
In my freetime , I playing game with my friends, listenning to music and reading book.(Nên dùng thì hiện tại đơn). Sửa:
In my freetime, i always play game with my (close) friends, listen to music and read books.
English is an international language. It's very important.
After my university graduation, I want to work for a large company and maybe my job ( my job--> I nha)will requires (!? sao lại co "S") communication with foreigners. But my english is very (really cho nó sành điệu) bad, so I want to improve it.
I think English is a language difficult to learn but I don't give up
. I'm going to study english hard.

Sửa:
I think English is difficult to learn, but i never give up
So i'm going to study it so hard.